The rest just writes itself.
Or, if you're not interested in a creative writing project, maybe the facts are weird enough.
An Orleans Parish Prison inmate has shown up for court three times too doped up to stand for his appearances, prompting court-ordered drug testing and an investigation at the jail, records show.
After the inmate had to be held upright by a deputy during a hearing Monday, Criminal District Court Judge Frank Marullo questioned lawyers and medical staff about his impairment, before ordering drug testing.
The inmate, Willis Turner, 30, tested positive for opiates, a class of drugs that includes heroin and prescription pain pills. He was not prescribed any opiate-based medications, jail staff told the judge, according to a transcript of the hearing.
Orleans Parish Sheriff Marlin Gusman's office on Wednesday confirmed an investigation into how Turner got ahold of drugs.
At a forum this week, Sheriff Gusman was asked about the contraband problem at OPP. He claimed it had been solved.. perhaps via time travel.
Gusman says breach was not a security breach: "We caught it before it happened and that's what we are supposed to do."
— The_GambitLIVE (@The_GambitLIVE) January 15, 2014
So if inmates are showing up in court now, don't worry. Someone will be able to have prevented it before it happened again.