There are about 12 hours left in what's been a truly awful calendar year mitigated a little bit, perhaps, by the not at all classless football season we've been treated to. Although I'd like to qualify that a bit by pointing out that football actually began after what I've come to call the NOLA New Year of August 29 so it's probably affected by a new set of
Excluding that, though, 2011 has been nothing short of putrid. But before we start drinking to forget, let's take a look back at a few of those forgettable moments now.
2011: Technically, it was the year during which this happened.
2011: The year anti-gay crusading preacher Grant Storms was arrested for doing something perverted in public surprising exactly no one.
2011: The year NOPD decided it was okay to pepper spray a Mardi Gras parade but later on became pretty much the only police force to not pepper spray any Occupy protesters.
2011: Also the year the city once again took no action against (although they sent a strongly worded email to) the scofflaws who hog public neutral grounds and obstruct others' enjoyment of Carnival but later decided camping in Duncan Plaza in order to engage in constitutionally protected political speech was a threat to public health.
2011: The year Sean Payton moved his family to Dallas causing civilization as we know it to come to an abrupt end.
2011: The year Ray Nagin and Thomas Morstead became Twitter personalities thus restoring the splendor to our lost civilization.
2011: The year we learned to accept that massive nuclear meltdowns are just going to happen and there's nothing anyone is really going to do about that.
2011: The year the Department of Justice publicly bitch slapped the NOPD. At a subsequent City Council meeting Jackie Clarkson congratulated Chief Serpas on the wonderful job he does.
2011: The year New Orleanians marched in the streets demanding to have their children beaten with paddles.
2011: The year we decided 9-10% unemployment was pretty much a new "structural" normal.
2011: The year BP started getting serious about telling LA fisher and oystermen to drop dead. Of course the advertising money just kept right on coming. Go check WWLTV.com right now and see how fast you can find one of these.
2011: The year Jackie Clarkson threatened to sink runaway barges in the Mississippi River presumably by firing a canon at them or something.
2011: The year Ron Paul told Mississippi River flood victims to suck it.
Also regarding this year's river flooding. Our favorite NOLA.com moment.
2011: The year of the St.Pierre trial. Too much for one line. Just go read Dambala.
2011: The year we almost replaced football season with a series of boring raffles.
2011: Who could forget the Royal Wedding?
Wait... is that the one?
2011: The year of the Seventh Ward Rooster and the Uptown Coyote and all other manner of creatures both real and imagined who we all hope eventually died in a marsh fire.
2011: The year a hurricane stuck the east coast and caused massive loss of life and property in New England prompting Republican congressmen to demand that we think twice before helping them.
Meanwhile one tropical storm struck Louisiana toppling this barricade which warned motorists of a by then year old pothole.
As of this writing, the barricade has not been righted or removed. Nor has the pothole been filled.
2011 in books: Former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and former FEMA director Michael Brown took their talents to the publishing world in 2011.
Nagin's title was the source of a great deal of parlor humor as this review by Gambit's Kevin Allman indicates.
Brown promoted his book in New Orleans during the American Library Association conference. I caught up with him at the Garden District Bookshop and secured his autograph.
2011 in music: Well the tragic thing is the big GBV reunion tour skipped over New Orleans altogether causing much consternation. The good news is the new record is out, is really pretty great, and features a song about Fats Domino.
2011 was also the year of this massive summertime hit.
Also released in 2011, this memorable record.
2011: The year Kermit Ruffins decided to go to bed early.
2011: The year Edwin Edwards became the most celebrated man released from prison since Nelson Mandela.
2011: The year of much nonsense about #standing
2011: The year that Jackie Clarkson ordered a helicopter attack on a marsh fire because Ray Nagin tweeted that she should.
2011: The year that Jackie also kind of wished was actually 1950.
2011: The year we sold the name of the city's most beloved public building to a foreign corporate sponsor.
2011: The year of the #notintendedtobeafactualstatement
2011 in food products:
And.. as the second photo indicates, 2011 was the year we learned the secrets of Beefy Mac
2011: The year we learned the Rex organization will sue the fuck out of your minor neighborhood Carnival celebration.
2011: The year we learned the importance of not kicking anybody in the face.
2011: The year some house cat was as much a threat to the incumbent governor as anyone else in the race.
2011: The year this happened
2011: The year we learned the difference between journalism and "lobbying".. or rather we didn't learn that.
2011: Also the year of the #spon-sored tweet.
2011: The year Herman Cain was on TV a lot for some reason.
2011: Something about obscure wildlife, a YouTube meme and a football player or something..
2011: The year they flagged the goddamned punter for taunting.
2011: The year this happened
2011: The year we decided the President of the United States can indefinitely detain American citizens as well as summarily execute anyone in the world whenever he feels like it using a flying robot.
2011: The year we made a turducken gumbo
2011: The year we all agreed to stop calling it "Kennah" and instead just call it "where that idiot is the mayor"
And of course other things happened too. There's no mention in here of the Gusman follies, the city budget wars, the federal government default brinksmanship, the $7.7 trillion in secret Fed bank bailouts, something else insane Jackie Clarkson and/or Gregg Williams said at some point... I could go on.
But it's getting a bit late in the day now which means it's time to stop documenting this year's atrocities and move on to 2012. That is if our proposal to exchange this calendar for the next isn't rejected by David Stern for basketball reasons. Stay tuned.
Happy New Year