Morning digital edition

Before you do anything else this morning, please read:

Courreges: “Cleaning up” your Constitutional rights in Jackson Square

 I recently said that Mayor Landrieu had declared war on live music, but that was a pitiful understatement.  It’s far worse than I thought.  Mayor Landrieu has declared war on New Orleans itself, and if doesn’t stop it soon, we’ll all be collateral damage.

Wang:  Dead Fly The Birds

(The Falcons are) the kind of dudes who eat the cheese and start talking 16-0 halfway through. The kind who talk a bunch of shit on Twitter leading up to the games. The kind who fuck around in their locker room the day before a game taping ridiculous freestyle raps to post on their team web site. (At least they weren't rappin kids though, am I right #Rodney?) The kind who run around yapping and disturbing their opponents' pregame warmups in a pathetically lame attempt to play mindgames, or whatever it is they think they're doing.
Then they get punched in the mouth, shit their pants, come up small in a big moment (as usual) and before they even hit the showers, it all starts crumbling. They get all butt hurt and start pointing fingers. They start whining about how their fans are gonna be jumping off the bandwagon any minute now. (In his defense, DeCoud is probably right.)

Taibbi: Rewrite Thomas Friedman's Syria Column, Win a Free Hand Grenade 

Read Taibbi's set up. It's great.  But it ends with this contest announcement.

I'll be donating a replica hand grenade paperweight for the person who, in the comments section below, does the best one-paragraph summary of the metaphor-fest in today's Friedman piece. And please, if you do a submission, don't forget to check back to see if you won, so you can send me contact information.

And then the fun starts in the comments.