Because we all live in a TV show

A really really bad one.

As mayor of America's most murderous city, Mitch Landrieu has spent much of his time casting about for ways to curb New Orleans' notorious culture of violence.This week, he'll have a chance to confront the city's homicide epidemic in a much more direct and personal way: as a member of a 12-person jury hearing the case of Gerald Nickles, 29, accused of fatally shooting a man in eastern New Orleans during a 2007 armed robbery.

How did this even happen? Those of you with the intestinal fortitude to watch three quarters of the way through the movie Independence Day might remember the scene where the President leads a squad of fighter pilots against an alien spaceship. This is only slightly less believable than that. If I'm defending this case, I've already filed my appeal on the grounds of jury contamination.

Nearly as bad as the certain to be rejected Hollywood plot device of Mayor-juror-at-murder-trial is the golden age of radio theater style manner in which Laura Maggi presents it.

As mayor of America's most murderous city, Mitch Landrieu has spent much of his time casting about for ways to curb New Orleans' notorious culture of violence.

This week, he'll have a chance to confront the city's homicide epidemic in a much more direct and personal way

"America's most murderous city"? Do we mean to imply that the city itself has evil intentions? It's true the city has a horrifyingly high murder rate but Murderous City sounds like something that belongs in an Batman comic.

Later we get this

As the attorneys laid out their cases, Landrieu listened intently. He sat in the front row, a juror badge affixed to his dark suit.

Since he has taken office, murder has become Landrieu's most nettlesome and thus far insoluble problem.

Wow, our dark suited hero listens intently as he prepares to confront the nettlesome problem in a direct and personal way. Pass the fucking popcorn!

And of course, today, nobody could have predicted this might have been problematic.

A lawyer defending an accused murderer in a case where Mayor Mitch Landrieu is one of the 12 jurors asked a judge this morning to consider whether a Times-Picayune story on the trial might have influenced the jury.

Geeze what a waste of time. What else is on?