What is The List? Oh I think you know. Many of us make one... or at least some version of one... during the Holidays. It usually comes to us in that moment of panic a few weeks before Christmas when we are suddenly struck by the organizational challenge of selecting, acquiring, and shipping/delivering the obligatory knickknacks and ephemera to the appropriate persons, figuring out the travel agenda (if applicable), figuring out who will feed that cat while you're away (again, if applicable), attending the obligatory social gatherings, witnessing the obligatory holiday exhibits of festive decor, and still maintaining the regular routine of bullcrap (i.e. work, laundry, cooking, cleaning, getting shitfaced, watching football, etc.) Not everyone's list is rigidly structured. Most of us don't even right it down. But there is a point when we take a look ahead to the coming holiday tasks and admit to ourselves that meeting these tasks requires at least some mental outline of a plan of attack.
Now, I'm not the world's most organized individual so usually when I decide it's time to take stock of my holiday chores, the list that foments in my mind usually ends up looking something like this:
- I need to do some stuff
- When am I off next?
- There should probably be booze involved at some point
- Eh I'll get to it eventually
And that's usually all I need. Somehow it all works out. And then I end up panicking again the next year... and making out much the same sort of list... and it all works out again.
Lately I've come to understand that this is not how it works for everybody. One specific body for whom this does not work is Menckles. A few weeks ago, the poor girl was struck by such a moment of urgency that she decided the only way to get a handle on the holiday this year was to draw up a detailed list of every freaking event in our lives between then and Christmas.
It is a startling thing to behold, this list. Menckles has mapped out this month with an awesome fastidiousness going so far as to remind herself on which occasions she is expected to "Have fun." Some entries on The List actually read, "Go to staff party. Duck out and go to other party. Have fun." Yes, the fun begins once the staff party has been abandoned.... but, again, only because The List says so.
The List also, naturally, contained an itemization of who in Menckles's life was getting what for Christmas and when each gift would be delivered. But that quickly became a security risk since my present was there on The List in plain view. Okay, in her mind it was a security risk since I tend to keep my distance from The List myself and am highly unlikely to go peeking at it. Nevertheless, Menckles crossed the item out... then got some scissors and cut out the sliver of paper on which it was written and, yes, ate it. Menckles is a very strange person.
I tell you all of this because when I tell you that as Menckles and I were on our way to the Superdome last week and that r texted me to ask whether or not I remembered to bring her out Eagles tickets (we'll be out of town tomorrow) and that I replied, "Yep. It was on The List" you'll understand what I'm talking about and can feel free to respond, "Are you fucking kidding me?" in much the same way that r did.
I also tell you this so that I can... in a very roundabout fashion... inject the fact that the Cardinals game was our last in the Superdome this season. This may not mean a lot to you, but it's been another fun year for me and I wanted to savor the moment. So I brought the camera. Which, of course, means.... see parenthetical note below.
Saints vs Cardinals (While the majority of these photos are stolen from NOLA.com as usual, a select few are ORIGINAL MEDIA and will be so indicated. Watch for it!)
- As we approached the Dome for the last time this season, I had kind of a bad feeling about things. The crowd was noticeably smaller. It was leaving a noticeably smaller trail of refuse and empty beer bottles along the sidewalk than at any time this season. What was wrong with everybody? Did they not know the Saints were still in the playoff hunt? Could they not take this one Sunday out of their busy holiday schedules to at least show up? Why was this not on everyone's List?
Granted, Saints fans are a typically late-arriving crowd, but this time a lot of people just didn't show up. Here is a look at the seats just below the press box during the second quarter. Where the hell was everyone?
ORIGINAL MEDIA - Not Reggie (Stecker Model): 22 carries 95 yards 2 touchdowns
Now I really must apologize in advance here, but I beg you to indulge me one more time as I say this.Sweet Jesus, Reggie Bush sucks!
I said that a lot on Sunday. Judging by Not Reggie's number of carries, it looks like I probably said it about 22 times. This week on WWL radio, I caught Drew Brees describing Aaron Stecker as "a football player" I wonder, then, what we can describe Bush as... since it must be something of a contrasting nature, right?
Not Reggie playing football - With Not Reggie carrying the load on the ground, the Saints' offense is ten times better. A ground game doesn't have to be spectacular to be effective. In the Saints' case it just needs to provide enough of a jab to set up the haymakers being thrown by Drew Brees. Earlier this season, we criticized the Saints's passing game as one-dimensional... limited to intermediate routes... and far too easy to defend. This is obviously no longer the case.
In addition to a respectable running game, the Saints' offense has brought its deep passing game back. Over the past few weeks, Brees has been taking more shots downfield. He's been able to do this because the running game helps slow down the pass rush, but I've noticed that he seems to be moving out of the pocket more often as well. Whatever it is, it's working. Brees was 26 out of 30 last week... and two of those incompletions were tipped at the line of scrimmage. But I hate to sound too positive here so I'll say those balls might not have been tipped if Brees weren't so damn short.
NOLA.com doesn't have a photo that illustrates Brees's height... but this drawing of him looks pretty short... if you take away the halo - For a while there I thought Edgerin James was killing the Saints. But they got it under control. Their run defense continues to impress overall. They'll be tested tomorrow by Brian Westbrook, though.
- I still think the most impressive thing about the defense this year has been the emergence of Roman Harper. Harper collected a ball that had ricocheted off of Troy Bienneman's foot for his second interception in as many weeks. But Harper hasn't made his biggest contribution as a ball hawk. The Saints like to blitz him a lot and, in this role, he has been a major disruption against the run and pass. Even when he doesn't make the tackle, Harper is usually in position to force a mistake by an opposing QB or plug a hole in the line.
At the other safety position, Kevin Kaesviharn seems to fill the injured Josh "Never Mind The" Bullocks' role quite well. He may have won the job permanently.... which kind of sucks since Bullocks has the better nickname and the better jersey number.
Here Roman Harper celebrates moments after successfully spelling the word Kaesviharn - The biggest play of the game might have been Steve Weatherford's open field tackle of Steve Breaston in the second quarter which likely saved a touchdown. The tackle set up Harper's interception which came on the next play.
Steve Weatherford is a "football player" unlike...say... Reggie Bush - Kicking that doesn't suck: Tiny new Saints kicker Martin Gramatica and his amusing hair were a perfect 1/1 on his field goal attempt and 4/4 on extra points. Gramatica's kickoffs need a little work but we can't have everything, I guess.
ORIGINAL MEDIA - Good David Patten: Veteran David Patten has more than adequately filled the spot in the Saints' lineup vacated by Joe Horn during the offseason. Sunday, Patten caught 4 passes for 71 yards including a 32 yard touchdown on a beautifully thrown ball from Brees during the second quarter.
Patten hauls in the long ball... just like Devery taught him to!
Bad David Patten: Patten very nearly screwed the Saints big time in this one. With 7:22 remaining, and the Saints up by a touchdown, Patten took in a pass from Brees and ran for what would have been a long gain had Patten not been brandishing the football in one arm extended away from his body as though it were a lit flambeaux torch. Even before Patten was tackled, Menckles shouted, "Oh my God he's gonna drop it!" I wonder if that was on The List. Anyway, Patten didn't have to feel too bad about his stupid fumble because the defense held the Cardinals to a three-and-out. But.. boy was that close!
Anyone care for a football? DP doesn't seem too attached to it. - Of course this game came down to the moment we all knew it would. With 2:16 left in the game, the Saints faced a 2nd Down and 7 from the Arizona 36. Make one first down and the game is over. Grandmas all over the Gulf South sat on the edge of their Craftmatic adjustable beds waiting to see if Coach Soupy would reach once more for the back of the playbook for that double flea-flicker end-around statue-of-liberty play he's been running at home on his X-box all year.
Not this time.
Pierre Thomas off right guard. 11 yards. Game over. Thank fracking God, now let's all go Christmas shopping!
As we left the Superdome for the last time in 2007, I swear I saw a sign on the ground that read "For Every Reverse Run, A Grandma Will Be Destroyed" But the sign had already been ripped down and trampled over by exultant Saints fans so it was hard to tell if that's what it said exactly.
We did manage to catch this group of theatrical fans leading the crowd in a "2 bits 4 bits" chant just outside the gate. I've preserved the moment for you with this last bit of ORIGINAL MEDIA
Tomorrow the Philadelphia Eagles can end the Saints' season in the same way the Saints ended theirs last year with a win in the Superdome. I can't tell you right now how that's going to turn out. I can tell you that it doesn't say anything about an Eagles win on The List.
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