Thursday, April 29, 2004

Today is all about glass houses

And the fact that we all live in them these days. First, Daisy gets all up close and personal with her neighbors. And then there's this post from nosey online.
Meanwhile, despite the fact that everyone is being watched, there's also all this stuff no one is supposed to see like this or this.
Do we really want to live like this? As Bob Dole so eloquently put it, "Where's the outrage?"

Ridiculously Complicated Baseball Stat of the Day

Marginal Lineup Value

via this Slate piece on why pitchers can't hit.

Hey I remember Popeye and Pals!

"In 1988, I got a job writing for Popeye and Pals," Melancon says. "It was a local television show for children that ran for about a bazillion years. They'd have an audience of kids and show Popeye cartoons. Then they'd interview the kids, give them free fried chicken, and at one point in the show they'd say, 'Hey, Mr. Philip, play a song.' And bing-bang-boom, I did. Every week, no matter what the subject was, I'd write a new song."
Also what the hell kind of name is Winkler-Schmit?


Thinks Bush is Prince Hal. What with all his upholding the unyoked humor of idleness while Kerry was in Vietnam getting his ass shot off. This comparison is probably a little too good for Bush. Does not the young, idle Hal break through the foul and ugly mists to become the celebrated war president Henry V? Oh well the column is still worth a read as it points out the emerging double standard in the press where it comes to examining the candidates' "sentences and gestures." Quite reminiscent of the 2000 campaign, actually.

Free Speech Zone

NEW YORK -- An anti-war group planning a massive demonstration at the start of the Republican National Convention in Manhattan has been denied a permit to rally in Central Park because the crowd would be too large.

Cool, A Horse Race!!

Now that the field has been entered for the Kentucky Derby, it looks like everyone is in a handicapping mood. Here is your racing form for the 2004 Veepstakes. And yes, Virginia, you can indeed place your bets now. (weird interface.. click on the politics link in the sidebar) Remember, racing fans, the smart money is still on Bill Richardson.

Bush appears before 9-11 commission

Well, actually, it's more like 9-11 commission appears before Bush. Oh and Cheney. Oh and it's all in private. Oh and it won't be recorded. Oh and it won't be made public. Oh and they're not under oath. So here's an opportunity for us to finally answer the question. If the highest executives of your government lie and insult you and there's no one there to hear it then.......

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Reference Questions

Jeffrey's favorite: Anything to do with food

Jeffrey's least favorite: Anything to do with grant writing

Dewey Eurocentrism Part 2

400 Language
410 Linguistics
420 English and Old English
430 German and related languages
440 French and related languages
450 Italian, Romanian and related languages
460 Spanish and Portuguese languages
470 Latin and Italic languages
480 Classical and Hellenic languages
490 Other languages

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Why do I keep forgetting....

....that our little team is still in the playoffs? New Orleans is proving to be not such a great basketball town. As most Louisianians know, it's really hard to compete with football season in this part of the world. But once that's over with we go straight into Carnival.. which leads right into festival season. This makes it a bit of a trick for a strange second year basketball team to grab the public's attention for very long. Add to that the severely limited discretionary income most of us live with around here and I'd say you have a problem. Maybe if they played during our blah summer they'd have a chance. I give the Hornets maybe one more season before they start talking about moving again.

Fun fact: A first round NBA playoff series lasts longer than an entire Olympics.

Underachieving moment of the week

This morning my boss and his supervisor took a few minutes to heap an inordinate amount of praise on me for programming a button on the cash register. Tomorrow I'll see if I can't win a lifetime achievement award for changing the toner. The sad thing is that this filled me with such a sense of accomplishment that I decided to take the afternoon off and drag Daisy on a wild goose chase in search of a free scoop of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. The sadder thing is that we were unsuccessful in this quest. The only local Ben and Jerry's location listed here is either closed or extremely well hidden.. which is a good idea if you're giving away free ice cream don't ya think?
Also today Consuela called me at work in a panic over signs that this may be about to happen again. I contacted my slum lord who seemed very ho-hum about the whole thing. I may have to go bucket shopping tomorrow.

Monday, April 26, 2004

URL of the evening

Life's little accidents.. I just stumbled upon this. This one's for the Old 97's fans out there in the audience.

Designs on You

Shrine to the Dynamic Years

It all makes sense to me now. It's 2004. I'm turning 30 in three months. This morning I had some freaky half midlife crisis kind of thing.. and now this. Comming soon I'll write more about the greatest rock band of all time. But for now, suffice to say, many a toast will be drunk between now and Aug 24.

Proud brothers
Do not fret
The bus will get you there yet
To carry us to the lake
The club is open


I just noticed that this morning I typed the word it's where I meant its. Now I do want to jump off of a bridge.

The Public Speaks

40 ish year old man: I remember out in California they had the place where you go to get your driver license. They called the DMV. They got anything like that here?

Cubs Win

Cubs 4 Mets 1
Six in a row! And I was all depressed this morning. It's also a very good sign to see Clement at 3-1.

URL of the day

Comes to us via the incomparable Naked Furniture.
I give you John Kerry Is A Douchebag But I'm Voting For Him Anyway. Outstanding, dude... but I'm still seriously considering voting for Nader again.

Quote of the morning

Irene: "Mary Mcgary Morris writes the saddest books. Last night I just wanted to call her up and ask, Couldn't you have nothing good happen just once?"

Blah blah

Regular readers of this space will note its decidedly.. um.. light tone. Usually a week here consists of one or two incoherent rants about the news mixed in with a story about work...a really dumb joke.. and a Cubs score or something. This morning, I actually need to write some self-serving bullshit so I'm going to go ahead and do that. Feel free to ignore it and we'll get back to the inanities soon enough.

First, I don't believe in God. Never have. I've always told people that that means I am responsible for my own moral rectitude. I've come to realize that I have not been as true to this obligation as I would like and that's got to change. Four people come to mind immediately to whom I've been more horrible than I ever imagined I could be. Maybe I can make it up to them.. but I don't know.

Second, the life is extraordinarily ruttish. My job is pleasant enough but I often feel like I'm just biding my time here.. hiding from something. I still want to be a librarian but it probably will be a first move before I figure out what I'm actually supposed to be doing. I don't mind committing a little time and money towards the MLS thing. I've already started on that path.. but I'm going to be thirty this year and I'm running out of patience.

Ok that's enough.. the staff is here and they're already exhibiting their various neuroses.. cheers you up in a depressing kind of way. Ok navel gazing time is over just forget I said anything.

Couldn't sleep

I snapped awake at 6:30 am and just couldn't get back in the bed so I came to work an hour early. Weird. Also there are only three books in the bookdrop this morning.. Really weird.

Sunday, April 25, 2004


This site has been practically dormant all weekend. Well I've been busy.. that is to say hung over mostly. Tomorrow I'll be back at work and adequately bored to get this thing going again. In the meantime check this out. Daisy brings you Blender's worst songs ever.. numbers 50-41. It's a tease to try and get you to buy the issue. I can't even imagine what could be worse than Meatloaf though.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Sports Section

Some predictons regarding tomorrow's NFL draft:
1) The Chargers will select Eli Manning with the first pick. I don't know whay everyone is so down on Archie for trying to make things better for his son by dissuading San Diego from picking him. If I had a son and was in a position to help him out you're damn right I would do the same.
2) The Saints will surprise everyone and select LSU receiver Michael Clayton with the 18th pick. They won't regret it either.
3) At least one cheapskate team will "pass" on their first round pick if they can't trade down in order to save on bonus money.
4) I won't have to watch any of this beacause I don't get free cable anymore.

Goodnight everybody!!


Can we nominate Get Your War On for a funniest-thing-ever-written award of some sort? If only for this sentence, "It felt like rubbernecking a highway accident made entirely of words."

Thursday, April 22, 2004

As if there isn't enough to read already

I've taken Ricky's advice and added Nosey online, Whopundit, and Letters to W. to the 'ol blogroll. All worth a look. Too bad I can't also stop in on Festival International de Louisiane. It would mean I have to miss Puppetpalooza.


all over this class

Ok it's off to class

Finally finished my term paper (yawn.) Sense of accomplishment will be overidden by certain chastisement from instructor (who likes to use words like "irregardless") for not completing the other five assignments due today.

Damn you, United States of America!!!

You still owe me money. You might remember the official documents I mailed to your office last month regarding this matter. I look forward to receiving my check.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

German Woman Apparently Puts Child Up For Sale on E-Bay

Aaron, ball's in your court.


When the public speaks

It says things like "What type of internet y'all have up in here?"

Currently playing crappily in my head

Ob Li Di Ob Li Da
Thanks, Daisy!


Outsourced American links to Hillary (I know I know) Clinton's New York Times article entitled, Now Can We Talk About Health Care? It's worth a look. She argues that a national health care system would make American businesses more competitive globally and help to reduce the incentive to send jobs offshore. This is a start, but realistically the labor market in places where workers earn a fraction of the American wage and work longer hours without meaningful workplace safety provisions and where there are virtually no environmental standards is going to be more enticing and profitable for global companies regardless of health care costs. Democrats need to learn to argue the morality of issues where they clearly hold the high ground. Still it's good to see this being pushed.

Thar she blows!!

Ha ha! It's Captain Cheney and the great white whale.

Slightly Less Reliable Than Walking

That's how I used to describe the St. Charles Streetcar back in the days when I depended on it for my daily commute. I worked an evening shift at a French Quarter hotel. On most days, I would ride the Streetcar to work in the afternoon and then try to catch it back at night. After a while, I learned to make a game of the trip back. Instead of sitting at Canal street where the wait could be over an hour after 11pm, I just started walking. An even pace could usually get me home in about 45 minutes. I'd say that nine times out of ten, I could make the entire trip without seeing a single car. Oh but it used to tick me off when that thing would come rumbling by when I was two blocks away from home. Life got better once I bought a bicycle (the only stress free way to travel in New Orleans.) Still, there is something charming about taking the streetcar to work. You don't always get there on time, the conductors tend to be on the rude side, and the ubitquitous bobbleheaded tourists really grate on you after a while but hey it beats trying to park downtown. According to this morning's Times-Pic, patrons of the new Canal line are already learning some of these lessons.
Glitches that threw schedules for the new Canal streetcar line out of whack during its first weekday commute prompted angry complaints from riders who said rush-hour delays made them late for work and school.
Many riders said they were willing to give the Canal line another chance. James Bergeron, who started out from his home in the Garden District at 2:30, transferred to the Canal line from the St. Charles line, but didn't get to Carrollton until 4:40 p.m. He was still waiting for the connection to City Park 45 minutes later.
--and of course, there's this--
Downtown Development District hospitality ranger Alfonso Martinez, part of the gaggle of people at the cemeteries stop, was enthusiastic about the new service and predicted it would be a big hit with tourists.

But he gave RTA officials low marks for how they handled him and others who waited and waited. Two of the agency's supervisors and a driver were standing across Canal Street, he said, and none came over to explain the delay.

"People see the lack of customer service," Martinez said. "They view it as, 'This is just for tourists.' "
Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to see the streetcar on Canal street. I also know better than to expect it to function as an efficient means of mass transit. But then, who needs to be on time in this town anyway?

Monday, April 19, 2004


Courtesy of Melville Dewey
I have to giggle every time I look at this.
200 Religion
210 Philosophy & theory of religion
220 Bible
230 Christianity
240 Christian moral & devotional theology
250 Christian orders & local church
260 Social & ecclesiastical theology
270 History of Christianity & Christian sects
280 Christian denominations
290 Comparative religion & other religions

Some stuff about the Howard Dean thing

First, McAllister Auditorium was packed. I'm not very good at head counts.. but there could have been.. um.. 1,500 people? I don't know.. it was a big room and it was full. Two parties among the crowd decided to spell out D-E-A-N on their chests as though they were at a basketball game or something.. cute this was.
The Q and A session featured an old predictable debate whenever a political speaker appears on a college campus. A contingent of Tulane College Republicans insisted on repeatedly asking Dean if he thought it was right that their student activity fee paid for his speech tonight which clearly didn't represent their views. He actually deigned to respond to this... the first time... with the correct answer which is something along the lines of "I'm sure your fees pay for a lot of speakers some with whom you agree others with whom you do not, but that's all part of the experience of free speech and open debate and intellectual inquiry.. something you should embrace in a college setting... blah blah blah" Personally I thought the whole line of questioning was juvenile and in poor taste and, like I said, I'd been to that rodeo before.
The speech was the same stuff anyone who watches even a little C-SPAN has been hearing in their sleep since last spring, "...even the Costa Ricans have health insurance.." Yeah you know, don't even act like you don't. I often lament the extent to which the art of rhetoric has been lost in our public discourse. I should say that Bill Clinton is a remarkable exception to this. I don't think I've ever seen anyone better on the stump..... maybe Edwin Edwards in his prime could match him. If only Clinton had had the guts or the conviction to actually do some good with that talent.... but I digress. Most of the public speaking we're subjected to these days is not only unmoving, it is barely intelligible. And even though the current President has lowered all of our expectations in this arena, Dean still managed to provide a few cringe moments for me. Some of the things I learned from Dean's statements:
  • "People in Mississippi need to hear the other side of the coin."
  • Apparently, cows can volunteer to be tested for mad cow disease
  • People in Africa are learning how to put on condoms in public
OK so he's not exactly the Secretariat of oratory but who is? Oh yeah Bill Clinton is but nevermind that. I, for one, am glad that Howard Dean happened. Because of his campaign, Democrats have begun to find their voice for talking about health care and workers' and human rights and improving environmental standards and doing so in a non-conciliatory manner. They aren't as confrontational as I think they ought to be but there has been movement and that is good. Dean talked a lot tonight about the importance of making your case and standing up for what you believe (those exact words repeatedly) and even though I think that the Democratic Party (and Howard Dean himself) have not been true to that mission for over thirty years, I find the fact that his message resonated with so many people encouraging.
Finally the highlight of the evening. After the show, Rudolph and I stopped and had a few drinks at the Columns Hotel. And then she let me drive her husband's Mustang back to my place. Fun.

Busy busy liberry day

We are swamped with canned good donations as a result of the library's food for fines program. I'm also trying to finish a few projects and memorize the 100 divisions of the Dewey Decimal System for my retarded cataloging class. This last half hour is the first opportunity I've had to sit down with a computer at all today. In other words, I haven't had a chance to read the news. If you come here for insightful news and commentary (god have mercy on your soul if this is true) the pros on my blogroll are doing an excellent job. Check them out. For no reason in particular, I'm going to see Howard Dean speak at Tulane tonight. If I don't get drunk afterwards, maybe I'll have something to say about that later.

Only in New Orleans

I wanted to post the Picayune's front page photo from this morning of the goofy people waiting on the first Canal streetcar at 3:00 am, but it's not on their website today. Instead, just go read this article. People here are crazy.
The car was greeted by the standard mishmash of New Orleans people: old and young, black and white, local and tourist, drunk and sober, all standing around slurping coffee and noshing on beignets. They had amassed on the neutral ground at Canal and Salcedo streets for the better part of two hours, taking numbers for a ride to nowhere in particular and trading life stories with friends and strangers alike.
It really doesn't take much does it?

Sunday, April 18, 2004

My new happy diversion

Dave Eggers' serial novel at Salon.

Here's a sad story

Today is the final day of French Quarter Fest. For those of you who don't know, FQF is what Jazz Fest ought to be. It's free. There is all sorts of music everywhere. It's out in the streets. You can go back and forth between the festival and multiple bars and shops and stuff. You aren't searched on the way in. There is lots of fun food catered by the local restaurants. This is a great time of year for Louisiana seafood, by the way. Oysters are still good, shrimp is relatively cheap, crawfish season is starting to peak. Did I mention it was free? This means that, unlike the Jazz Fest, which is mostly for middle aged yuppies from Canada or some such place, FQF is an organic street event and much more the kind of thing the desperately poor party enthusiasts (like me) who dominate the local population tend to go for.
Also there's the re-opening of the Canal Street streetcar line. This means that someone who has a Sunday off can hang out at the French Quarter Fest and then, for the first time in 40 years, ride the streetcar all the way down Canal to City Park and laze around for the rest of the day. Oh and check out the weather. Perfect day for all this, wouldn't you say?
And why do I bring this up? Yep.. that's because I am stuck here in the good 'ol liberry.. in the part of town where this crazy crap goes on.. moving chairs for some Vietnamese women's church group. No I'm not complaining or anything... oh wait a minute I just remembered that Daisy has weasled her way out of being here in order to spend the day doing "volunteer work" at Audubon Park. Ok now I'm complaining.

Also see: Streetcar gets a blurb in NYT Travel section (scroll down)

Today's Cheesy pop song that I can't get out of my head

Surrender by Cheap Trick

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Cubs Win!!

Cubs 8 Pirates 3

State of the Cubs:

The new phrase

which I absolutely cannot refrain from using at every conversational opportunity which seems even remotely apt is "retarted animal babys." If you think there is no place for this term in your every day repartee, then, well, you just aren't trying hard enough. Give it a try. You'll be amazed how often you can squeeze a retarted animal baby in to just about any situation. Last night, for example, as I watched the shuffling, mumbling, stuttering, slouching, shrugging "president" fail miserably at the most essential presidential function of lying artfully, I coudn't help thinking to myself, "Wow George W. Bush is quite the retarted animal baby is he not?"
Which, if there is any justice in the world, should catch on as the coolest and most obscure google bomb in history. Or maybe it's just some problem I have I don't know.
Remember, you have to spell it like it reads or it loses its power. Like this : retarted animal baby

edited for spelling (I am a retarted animal baby)

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

What the.. huh?

Ok so first, Six Flags New Orleans will receive no new investment for the 2004 season outside of bathroom maintenance.
In 2003, Six Flags planned to invest $125 million to $130 million at its parks around the world, a decrease from the previous year. In 2004, the Oklahoma company plans to invest about $43 million, according to the trade journal Amusement Business. Nearly half of that money is slated to go to projects aimed at making guests more comfortable, such as improving bathrooms. Only six of the company's 39 parks are getting new rides this year, according to Amusement Business.
In the meantime, Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois will receive a whole new section titled "Mardi Gras." These improvements include a new 1,378 foot long roller coaster called the "Ragin' Cajun." Weird.

Bland humor moment of the day

Wacky warning labels. Be sure to check out the past winners.

Monday, April 12, 2004

It's not so much what did the President know...

It's did he care?
So says Josh Marshall in not quite those words.
Clearly no one is saying that if the president got a warning at that late date that he should necessarily should have been able to roll up the plot. I don't think anyone expects him to have. But what's damning about this isn't that he didn't prevent what happened.

I think what people would want to know -- having now seen the warnings the president received -- is that the White House snapped into action and was trying to put together every clue it had to get to the bottom of what was coming. After the attack came they could say to the public, "There were some warnings something was coming. We put all the resources we could into it. We scrambled to turn over every stone. But we were in a race against the clock. We did our best. But we didn't figure it out in time."

The problem for the White House is it that it really doesn't seem like anything like that happened. 9/11 probably couldn't have been prevented at that late a date. But we'll never know.

Also see Greg Palast from 2001.
But the FBI files were closed in 1996 apparently before any conclusions could be reached on either the Bin Laden brothers or the organisation itself. High-placed intelligence sources in Washington told the Guardian this week: "There were always constraints on investigating the Saudis".

They said the restrictions became worse after the Bush administration took over this year. The intelligence agencies had been told to "back off" from investigations involving other members of the Bin Laden family, the Saudi royals, and possible Saudi links to the acquisition of nuclear weapons by Pakistan.

"There were particular investigations that were effectively killed."

Only after the September 11 attacks was the stance of political and commercial closeness reversed towards the other members of the large Bin Laden clan, who have classed Osama bin Laden as their "black sheep".
Oh and while you're at it, don't miss this one

Which is an excellent companion piece to this one

This is your humble reader's advisor signing off.


They don't ever ever come down here anymore!

Fighting resumes in Fallujah

From the Boston Globe
The sound of explosions and gunfire echoed from one area of the city, and US helicopters were overhead. Iraqi fighters accused US forces of breaking the truce. The US military said the truce was still intact and its soldiers were only fighting in self-defense.

The military did not report casualties from the skirmishes. Elsewhere, however, fighting claimed five US soldiers yesterday, including two crew members who died when gunmen downed their US attack helicopter near Baghdad. Three Marines were killed in fighting west of Baghdad. At least 12 other troops died in previously unreported episodes Friday and Saturday, including ferocious battles in the city of Baquba, northeast of Baghdad.

Got the music in me today yeah

So while I'm driving to work this... um.. afternoon, WTUL is playing this really awful cover of the Psychedelic Furs' immortal tune Pretty in Pink by some girl pseudo-punk band trying to be, I don't know, ironic or something. Well, whatever, it didn't work. The original song, bubblegummy Molly Ringwaldishness aside, had a certain airy sadness that I always found catchy enough not to hate. This rendering had a manic-in-your-face-we-are-cool-because-we-are-playing-an-80's-pop-song-as-though-we-were-the-first-not-really-punk-band-to-think-of-it kind of thing going that made me want to strike my dashboard with a hammer. Also now I have Pretty in Pink playing in my head.. probably for the rest of the day.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

How Boring

This is wrong. I will not be typed this blandly!

Which 1990's Subculture Do You Belong To?

[Another Quiz by Kris
@ couplandesque.net]

Daisy grew up a punk

Also Worth Noting

Red Sox 6 Blue Jays 4. The Sox are a respectable 4-3 one week into the season. Nomar will be back in May.

Oh by the way

Cubs Win!!
Cubs 10 Braves 2 Kerry Wood strikes out 11. Cubbies hit 4 homers in a game and I miss the whole thing because the bastards at cox finally turned off my free cable after five years.

More Easter Festivities

The neighbors are in the street screaming at each other. The girls are holed up in Consuela's room having an Easter Buffy blowout. Before they disappeared, they were nice enough to buy me some fun toys for the holiday including magic rocks. We have gorged ourselves on ham and croissants and green beans and corn and crab bisque and Pino Griggio and Miller Lite. I don't quite mind if I do go on and have another one thank you very much. Rejoice ye, GSUS has risen.

Jeffrey's Corn and Crab Bisque:
In a large pot

  • Chop one onion

  • Scrape 6 husks of fresh corn on the cob

  • Add one stick of butter and stir until melted, add salt and pepper and saute for about 3 minutes

  • Add three or four tablespoons of flour (get it good and thick)

  • Continue to stir for another minute or so (I usually add more salt and pepper as well as some Tony Chachere's... remember to keep adding Tony's periodically as the mood strikes you throughout the preparation of this dish)

  • Add one half pint of heavy whipping cream

  • Stir.. add more Tony's then add one can of chicken broth

  • Let it simmer for a minute or two.. add more Tony's.. add a few drops of Rex brand liquid crab boil

  • Fold in two cans of fancy lump crab meat

  • Simmer for a few minutes

  • Serve with a little chunk 'o french bread

Pretty good stuff.

Edited for clarity (I am a bit tipsy this evening)

Bonus Easter Link

Another oldie but goodie. Peeps in the library.

Obligatory Easter Link

Peep Research

Thursday, April 08, 2004

More Cobain

Thurston Moore in today's NYT.
When Kurt died, a lot of the capitalized froth of alternative rock fizzled. Mainstream rock lost its kingpin group, an unlikely one imbued with avant-garde genius, and contemporary rock became harder and meaner, more aggressive and dumbed down and sexist. Rage and aggression were elements for Kurt to play with as an artist, but he was profoundly gentle and intelligent. He was sincere in his distaste for bullyboy music — always pronouncing his love for queer culture, feminism and the punk rock do-it-yourself ideal. Most people who adapt punk as a lifestyle represent these ideals, but with one of the finest rock voices ever heard, Kurt got to represent them to an attentive world. Whatever contact he made was really his most valued success.

Not quite right

Red Sox fans were asked to vote on the title of an upcoming documentary on the 2003 season. They decided on "Still We Believe." How freaking lame is that? Not to mention way too sunny for Sox fans.
More appropriate suggestions:

  • Why Why Why

  • Are You There God? And !@#$ You Too.

  • Still We Believe... That We Need Lots of Jaegermeister to Make it Through Another Day

  • Yankees Suck.. Really Like a LOT

Site of the day

via BFOP
My new favorite: This is Broken

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Questions for Condi


Joe Conason


David Corn

Really, y'all this is like Super Bowl Sunday or something. I'm thinking about taking off from work to watch.

Yankees Suck!!

It's a winning streak. Sox 10 Orioles 3 Red Sox try to take the opening series tomorrow.

Stop the presses

Simpsons movie in the pipeline!!!

Writers are working on the movie now, according to Yeardley Smith, who voices Lisa. But they won't start making the film until after the series is over -- and she says the series still has at least two seasons to go.
Oh my God! You mean the end of the Simpsons is within sight? Oh how different our world will be.

Not my fault

Someone just forwarded this to me
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger
out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he
wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is

(you're gonna love this)

(its a real treat)

( a masterpiece)

(wait for it)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's
a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you?)

Ghost Town

Last week the library implemented a new policy requiring patrons to present their library cards for access to the public computers. I was dubious about this policy for a couple of reasons.
First, I see this as an unnecessary impediment to the public's right to access information available on site. Until now, library cards were circulation tools. They enable a library to keep track of those materials which we allow to be removed from the building. No one is required to present a card in order to access any other on site reference material. Why are the computers any different?
Second, our patrons are particularly.. um.. cavalier about bringing their library cards with them to the public library. Three out of every four patrons at the circ desk do not use their cards to check out books. Usually, if someone presents a drivers license, we can find him or her in the patron databse by name. Because we can do this, most of our patrons find it rather superfluous to carry a pointless plastic card with them on every visit. In principle, I agree with these people. At the same time, I'm the sort of person who comes prepared anyway. I would bring my card. But unlike the rest of the entire staff here, I don't look down my nose at the folks who leave their cards at home. I just don't share my co-workers' irrational need to police.
One week into the new system, one thing jumps out at me. The tech lab, once the center of all activity in the library, is now practically deserted for most of the day. Our throngs of regular patrons seem to have chosen to cease using the computers altogether rather than bring their cards to the library. In a way, it is a beautiful act of protest against our absurd Kafkaesque bureaucracy. On the other hand, what's really happened is the library has frightened the public away from access to information. This is a failure of the library's primary institutional mission. It is also a shame.

Update: Similar problems elsewhere

Retarded freaking people

I do not want to do your children's homework for you!!!


Gives us the strength to do extaordinary things.
Dr R Valle, of the Dr Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo, Mexico, said: "She took three small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife, sliced her abdomen in three attempts and delivered a male infant that breathed immediately and cried."

Monday, April 05, 2004

Whooahh a Food Blog

Check it out
I should really follow Daisy's links more often. I need to find more of these.


via Laughing Librarian (laughing librarian rocks the house, by the way)

This Fark collection of unlikely book sequels is a mixed bag but worth a look. I particularly like Maurice Sendak's Wild Things Gone Wild as well as all of the Stephen King titles.

I don't care what you think the lesson is about me

Yup, it's the Kurt Cobain 10 year anniversary. Wow and you didn't think you were old? I don't want to be a big asshole and ruminate on this. I'll just answer a few questions no one asked me.
  • Yes, Daisy, I do remember where I was when I heard about the suicide. It was Friday and I was fresh out of class in Baton Rouge and just getting in the car to spend the weekend drinking in New Orleans (the regular pattern throughout my college years. This is still the pattern except that I don't drive in from BR anymore.)
  • Yes, I think Nirvana saved rock. It needs saving again. This is evidenced by the fact that the BBC story I linked to actually figures bands like Nickelback and Limp Bizkit to be Nirvana's progeny.
  • Right before the suicide I had seen a rumor somewhere that Cobain was planning some sort of collaboration with Michael Stipe (who was still marginally cool at the time) and this seemed like a really neat idea to me.
  • Courtney Love sucks

Cubs Win!!

Cubs 7 Reds 4 One down, 161 to go.

Comming Events

Molly Ivins will be at Tulane next Tuesday April 13. I might try to be there. You should too.

Well, here we go

It's opening day and the good guys are already doomed doomed doomed I tell you!!

The Cubs are doomed. After last season people are actually expecting this team to win the National League. What are you people thinking? These are the Cubs, remember? The Cubs? All sorts of things can and will go wrong for this bunch this year. Mark Prior is expected back in May, but I don't think he'll be back to last season's form at all this year.. or possibly ever. His injury is the sort that generates other injuries if you try to play through it and overcompensate. Major League pitching mounds are strewn with the bodies of promising pitchers whose little foot problems grew into big arm problems... the Dizzy Deans of the world. Prior is the next one. The odds are also long against Moises Alou staying healthy for an entire season. Damien Miller will be missed. Aramis Ramirez and Corey Patterson can either take a step up or a step back. I've seen enough baseball to know an every-other-year player when I see one and Ramirez is definitely a suspect. Patterson has only produced in the big leagues for half a season and is comming off a major injury. Greg Maddux is old. Plus I think Sosa is on steroids. I think they're all on steroids. Honestly, I don't see anything to be optimistic about at all here. I hope I'm wrong but.. I don't think so.

The Sox are doomed. Just look what happened last night. Pedro is finished. He really hasn't been himself in three years. Last night he could hardly throw 90 mph. Curt Schilling is supposed to pick up the slack but he is very very old. As for the American League's top offense from 2003, well there's Nomar out for a month and probably needing some time to get over almost being traded. Manny Ramirez will hit. But look at the rest of these guys. David Ortiz, Kevin Millar, Bill Mueller... all I have to say there is see Aramis Ramirez.

Look, I know we want to see the Cubs/Sox World Series. Mostly, we want this to happen so that we can then usher in the apocolypse and thereby end the suffering and cruelty of our absurd existence. Unfortunately, there are powerful forces arrayed against this course of events. These are the rich, the powerful, the beneficiaries of the misery of others.. perfectly represented by the New York Yankees if you ask me. So give it up, people it ain't gonna happen.

This Year's World Series (no prediction I make is ever correct) Prediction: Astros vs Yankees.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Oh My God

Leave it to Carol to email me the creepiest thing ever. You really just can't look away from this.
Biking through Chernobyl