Well, here we go

It's opening day and the good guys are already doomed doomed doomed I tell you!!

The Cubs are doomed. After last season people are actually expecting this team to win the National League. What are you people thinking? These are the Cubs, remember? The Cubs? All sorts of things can and will go wrong for this bunch this year. Mark Prior is expected back in May, but I don't think he'll be back to last season's form at all this year.. or possibly ever. His injury is the sort that generates other injuries if you try to play through it and overcompensate. Major League pitching mounds are strewn with the bodies of promising pitchers whose little foot problems grew into big arm problems... the Dizzy Deans of the world. Prior is the next one. The odds are also long against Moises Alou staying healthy for an entire season. Damien Miller will be missed. Aramis Ramirez and Corey Patterson can either take a step up or a step back. I've seen enough baseball to know an every-other-year player when I see one and Ramirez is definitely a suspect. Patterson has only produced in the big leagues for half a season and is comming off a major injury. Greg Maddux is old. Plus I think Sosa is on steroids. I think they're all on steroids. Honestly, I don't see anything to be optimistic about at all here. I hope I'm wrong but.. I don't think so.


The Sox are doomed. Just look what happened last night. Pedro is finished. He really hasn't been himself in three years. Last night he could hardly throw 90 mph. Curt Schilling is supposed to pick up the slack but he is very very old. As for the American League's top offense from 2003, well there's Nomar out for a month and probably needing some time to get over almost being traded. Manny Ramirez will hit. But look at the rest of these guys. David Ortiz, Kevin Millar, Bill Mueller... all I have to say there is see Aramis Ramirez.

Look, I know we want to see the Cubs/Sox World Series. Mostly, we want this to happen so that we can then usher in the apocolypse and thereby end the suffering and cruelty of our absurd existence. Unfortunately, there are powerful forces arrayed against this course of events. These are the rich, the powerful, the beneficiaries of the misery of others.. perfectly represented by the New York Yankees if you ask me. So give it up, people it ain't gonna happen.

This Year's World Series (no prediction I make is ever correct) Prediction: Astros vs Yankees.