What's worse, if you're too let down you'll be too angry to appreciate what this football season actually is going to be about. This is going to be a season of rake gags.
We're going to watch our heroes stumble over the same obstacle over and over until the repetition is what actually makes it funny. Here is how the rake gag works. First, the audience is made to watch Drew Brees sacked violently or Brandon Harris throw a game-sinking pick. Then, as the shock of of that sets in, they are made to watch it again. And then again and again until it becomes tiresome. After that, the gag continues until it somehow becomes funny again. It's a bit of a comedy cliche but, as those go, it's a pretty good one.
Sometimes it helps if we add an element to keep it fresh, though. So here is little Les Miles, age 5, avatar of human frailty, here to help us add a touch of emo to our gallows humor.
Miles credited Harris with getting out of the way, but the play ended in an interception that killed the last chance at winning the game.The dodging was pretty good. LSU's team, much like the Saints, have a bit of an offensive line problem. On Saturday, they used three different tackles to no good effect. Even when Harris was completing passes, he never looked especially comfortable. But that's going to be an obvious and recurring theme throughout the season. Maybe it will get funny on its own. But until it does, at least we have deflated Les here to deadpan the descriptions.
"He dodged extremely well," Miles said. "He was getting sacked, pivoted out of the grasp of the defender and didn't make the throw he wanted to make. There was some difficulty getting plays in that we need some work on. It's more than a quarterback. It's a team issue."
"I really have to see the film," Miles said for the third time in his post-game interview. "It seems to me there were some guys that were not necessarily blocked. I know some guys had a heck of a day, blocked extremely well. We'll have to see how it goes.Some guys were not necessarily blocked. This is going to be a great season. You just have to understand now the specific way it's going to be great. Some teams will not necessarily win much. But we'll figure out how to make it fun.
"We didn't move the football like we are capable. At times we threw the ball well. At times we turned it over."
But we'd better do that quickly because some especially bitter folks are already looking to make if very not fun if they can.