Ted Cruz's 2016 NFL Mock Draft

1. Los Angeles - from Tennessee (3-13) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
2. Cleveland (3-13) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
3. San Diego (4-12) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
4. Dallas (4-12) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
5. Jacksonville (5-11) Soup
6. Baltimore (5-11) Mushroom soup
7. San Francisco (5-11) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
8. Philadelphia - from Miami (6-10) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
9. Tampa Bay (6-10) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
10. New York Giants (6-10) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
11. Chicago (6-10) Cheese soup
12. New Orleans (7-9) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
13. Miami - from Philadelphia (7-9) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
14. Oakland (7-9) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
15. Tennessee - from Los Angeles (7-9) Soup
16. Detroit (7-9) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
17. Atlanta (8-8) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
18. Indianapolis (8-8) Tomato soup. Yum!
19. Buffalo (8-8) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
20. New York Jets (10-6) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
21. Washington (9-7) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
22. Houston  (9-7) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
23. Minnesota (11-5) Soup
24. Cincinnati (12-4) Soup
25. Pittsburgh  (10-6) A can of Campbell’s Healthy Request Cheddar Cheese soup
26. Seattle (10-6) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
27. Green Bay (10-6) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
28. Kansas City (11-5) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
29. New England (12-4) Pick Forfeited for Deflategate
30. Arizona (13-3) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
31. Carolina (15-1) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup
32. Denver (12-4) A can of Campbell’s cheese soup

Gawker: After His Honeymoon, Ted Cruz Immediately Bought 100 Cans Of Soup