Reasons America should tune in to see an 0-2 football team tonight

• Unlike the previous two games of the season, this one figures to be entertaining. The Titans are a well coached, up-and-coming team anxious to make an impression in front of a national audience. The Saints are last year's darlings, desperate for a win, and playing in front of their home crowd for the first time this year.



• The only other thing on at the time is K-Ville.



• Star power. Tonight's game features the first professional meeting (in a game that counts) between Tennessee quarterback Vince Young and Saints corporate spokesmodel Reggie Bush. The two last met in the 2006 Rose Bowl, a game in which Young is remembered for leading the Texas Longhorns to an upset victory over Bush's overrated USC Trojans and in which Bush is best remembered for ruining a 35 yard pass play with an idiotic attempted lateral during the second quarter.



• Sure the Titans' uniforms are ugly... but nothing even close to that embarrassing high-school uniform the Philadelphia Eagles wore yesterday. The worst fashion faux-pas viewers are likely to encounter tonight would be the Saints' black leotards.



• On a personal note, due to the inconvenient underwater status of my hometown, I was forced to spend September 2005 in Nashville, TN and I am here to tell you that this was no picnic. Nashville is a sprawling, boring, hilly Houston-like series of stripmalls and Wal-Marts without even so much as a drive-thru daiquiri shop to break the mood. I don't like Nashville and I certainly can't condone them sending their strangely costumed football team down to ruin the Saints' dome opener.
  
  What's worse, about six (my God is it six?) years ago, my mom's company relocated her job to Nashville where she has been living and working and generally making holidays very inconvenient for my family ever since. Now I am (in most respects) a grown man and a fairly independent one at that. But goddammit, Nashville done took my mom away and that shit just ain't cool.

I think that's about it. Kickoff is 7:30.... promptly since Bono isn't here this year, thank God.