Security State Gras

It's parade season! Who is ready to go out walking in the streets after dark?

Well, here's something from a New York Times reporter that the New Orleans Convention & Visitors Bureau won't be touting (for a change):

"Be safe" seems to be the No. 1 way to say goodbye in #Nola. People really take care of each other here. Also, have learned no one walks on the street after dark.

— Jada Yuan (@jadabird) January 24, 2018

That's the Twitter account of Jada Yuan, The New York Times' "52 Places to Go" reporter, who will be traveling the globe over the next year, reporting from the Times' much-touted list of travel destinations — of which New Orleans was No. 1, baby. (Based on Yuan's observation, it's more like No. 1 with a bullet.)

Yuan's tweet happened over 24 hours ago so it's already been through the full cycle of NOLA outrage by now.  A bunch of people got mad. And then a bunch of other people got mad that those people got mad.  And then the two or three possible jokes that could be made out of it got blurted simultaneously by 10,000 internet users.  Finally, everybody stroked their chins and sighed before retreating to their corners.  Because one of the obvious jokes is directly applicable to evening Carnival events, there's a second wave coming once the parades start, so be ready for that. In the meantime, just try and "be safe."

Gambit's take in that article supposes the comment might have made tourism officials nervous. But I have to wonder about that.  After all, we've already seen the city is pushing harder than ever this year to get people off the streets as early as possible.  One wonders if they really want you out there at all. 

Krewes are being asked to limit the number of walking groups that lead off their parades or are interspersed between floats. Officials are asking that parades start with no more than a dozen groups — marching bands, dance troupes and unique organizations like the Rolling Elvi — before the first float, with one group following each float after that.

Not to re-hash an earlier complaint, but the marching clubs and bands aren't what's slowing the parades down.  Most delays have to do with broken down floats.  And when multiple parades have to follow one another along a single route, a break down in one parade puts everybody behind schedule.  But the city's action doesn't address any of that.  Instead they're going after these smaller groups who, with their low-barrier for entry and penchant for creativity are among the best vectors for lower and middle class local residents to participate in what is ostensibly still their city's celebration of itself.  Each year it seems like the elites in charge give less and less of a damn about any of that, though.



As I'm typing this, we're currently biting our nails over the forecast for Saturday's Krewe Du Vieux. It looks pretty bad.  I've seen some jokes that maybe the theme is tempting fate a bit.



But I'm also sitting here wondering how much trouble it would be to just move it back one day to Sunday night if they had to. Lots of parades have make-up dates. And KDV happens early enough in the calendar that it wouldn't conflict with anything the next day. It's possible that a postponement would be inconvenient for the membership. But it's also worth asking if the city isn't interested in accommodating what is essentially a big marching club. If they're choosing not to help, why is that?

Anyway, the odds are we're all gonna get a little soggy on Saturday night.  That's a bummer. But it's only the beginning and there's plenty more to come. Let's try and keep the big fat security state (Security State Gras) from harshing our buzz too much.  Here are a few items to get us in the swing of things.

It's an early Mardi Gras this year. There won't be another one this early until 2024.   That means there will be some chilly nights. But it also tends to make for lighter and less "Spring Breaky" crowds. Some people prefer that. Some don't. I've never had a preference for either an early or late season. But I would very much prefer that Carnival remain a "moveable feast." There is some speculation that it may not. There's an element of mystery that comes with a holiday pegged to the lunar cycle. It would be a shame to lose that.

Because Mardi Gras is so early this year, everybody is rushing to get their king cakes in now. You'd think the short season would make for fewer and less baroque elaborations on the king cake theme but The Advocate is on a mission to prove you wrong. Ian McNulty has already sampled a doberge king cake, a crawfish king cake, even a beer king cake among several other exotic examples. Meanwhile, NOLA.com alerts us to a style of king cake ice cream we were not previously aware of.

Also, last week we ran across this item.

Traditional Rock-n-Sake Sushi King Cake comes standard filled with snow crab and cream cheese pressed with sushi rice as the "dough" with assorted toppings of avocado, tuna, spicy tuna, fresh salmon, yellowtail, lemon zest, yuzu tobiko, wasabi tobiko, rainbow sprouts, crunchy tempura flakes, jalapenos, green onions, thin slices of lime, smelt roe, dots of sriracha, eel sauce, spicy mayo, chili-sesame oil, ponzu, and voodoo sauces.

"Sushi King Cake" is a pretty good hook. But, really, it's just a big roll shaped into an oval.  It sounds perfectly edible. Speaking of which, I find I am 2 for 2 in getting stuck with the baby this year the latest incident coming about just this Thursday.



Maybe the short season really is a good thing.

Finally, no king cake discussion would be complete without our annual look at the market for king cake flavored vodka.  It appears to be crashing badly this season.  Where once there were three brands available at most outlets, there is now only the bottom shelf Taaka in stock at Rouses. And they are having trouble giving even that away.  The price opened at $7.39 on January 11.



And is now all the way down to $6.99 as of January 23.



There is a King Cake Festival now, as well. (Of course there is.) It is this Sunday in Champions Square.

Also coming back, the Jefferson Parish "Family Gras" (literally Fat Family) for those parents who still believe, even in 2018, that the city is some sort of hellish no-go zone for children.  Don't get me wrong. As always, I encourage everyone to do their part to spread the festivities out across as wide a geographical range as possible.  It's just JP's marketing implication that theirs is the only "family friendly" setting that gets annoying.  But, hey, they do have Oates. Nobody can deny that.

Expect plenty of S&WB jokes at Carnival this year.  It looks like S&WB themselves may have beaten us to the first one, actually.

Aside from leaves, mud and sundry sludge, there's one festive item that cleaning crews sucking out thousands of storm drains in New Orleans have found in droves recently.

Mardi Gras beads. Tons of them.

Specifically: 93,000 pounds on a five-block stretch of St. Charles Avenue downtown.

Is that a lot? It sounds like a lot.  The five-block stretch referenced here is between Lee Circle and Poydras Street which isn't too surprising. It's the point in the route where float riders are prone to suddenly realize they have bought too many beads and begin to furiously dump them overboard in a panic. It's also where spectators are the most confined into the high rise scaffolding seen here which results in a fair amount of unrecoverable spillage into the street.



Here is some new instructional artwork I noticed on Napoleon Avenue this week. Maybe the alligator will help people be more conscientious in the future.



Meanwhile, it's time to get out and practice walking in the streets so we know what to do after it gets dark.  Here we see the KDV sub-Krewe of Underwear doing just that last weekend in the Marigny.



Needs work, maybe.

And here is the Singleton Charter School Marching Band stomping around the neighborhood Wednesday afternoon.



Looking a bit better. Be safe.