What Would Roger Goodell Do?

It's a fun game to play.  Here, you try it, Chinese seaman cook.

Xinguo Chen, a cook aboard the Genco Mare, was booked with one count of assaulting a federal officer during the routine inspection late last month. Deemed a flight risk, he was ordered detained without bond. He waived his right to a preliminary hearing last week.

The incident happened after a U.S. Immigration and Customs inspector walked into the ship’s cooler to examine a box of mangos, one of which “had a known invasive insect protruding from the fruit,” according to a criminal complaint filed in U.S. District Court in New Orleans.

Chen hovered over the inspector “in a dominating and invasive manner” and snatched the fruit from her as she was about to place it in an evidence bag, the complaint says. He then shoved the inspector into some shelving, the complaint says, and slammed the door of the cooler shut, trapping her inside.

Close.  That is certainly very much in the spirit of things, anyway. But we were also looking for, continue collecting $44 million salary afterwards.  Maybe next time.