He hangs it on the wall and he looks at it to make him smarter every day*

Nagin unveils his official portrait for all posterity to enjoy.

From the actual description of this artwork

Inside the portrait, painted by Mr. Newt Reynolds, two symbols emerge from a shadowy background. A hurricane graphic, representing Hurricane Katrina, and an image of the Lombardi trophy, symbolizing the Saints first-ever Super Bowl victory, signify the challenges and difficult times as well as the unity and resiliency of New Orleanians.

Forget the "shadowy background" and the questionable decision to include the image of Hurricane Katrina aside the soon-to-be-ex-Mayor's smiling visage. Did they really try and include the Superbowl win in a representation of Nagin's legacy? Because um... Hey wait a minute I've got an idea.

This morning EA Sports announced that Drew Brees will grace the cover its Madden 11 NFL video game.



As most of us who follow such things are aware, the "Madden Curse" associated with appearance on the cover of this game is one of the most serious superstitions in all of sports. ESPN's Pat Yasinkas catalogs the curse's gruesome history here. The prospect of watching the Saints go through the 2010 season with their first "cursed" quarterback since Heath Shuler is unsettling for all sorts of reasons.

We're not so much worried about the Saints themselves. As I've said over and over and will continue to say, it just doesn't matter if they win anymore no matter what Teddi Bruschi thinks. What we're worried about are the numerous causes and organizations around New Orleans that Brees has associated himself with outside of football. Children's Hospital, the Krewe of Bacchus, several schools parks and playgrounds, Cox high-speed internet and many others are all in danger of incurring collateral damage from the Madden whammy.

My 2009 brake tag displays an ominous number nine in black and gold right here on my windshield.



How the hell am I supposed to Tweet while driving anymore when there's no longer any guarantee that I'm not taking my life into my own hands?

So here's what I think. Ray Nagin wants to appropriate the Saints' Superbowl victory for himself? That's fine. I say let him. He can have all the cred he wants. Hell he can even have the trophy as far as I'm concerned. I'm pretty sure that Coach Soupy is done riding around on floats and shaking it at people by now. At this point it's either hand it over to Nagin or bury it in the back yard at Saints camp. The more we do to palm all this off on Nagin the better. Which hopefully means, and I think you see where we're going here, he gets to take the "curse" off with him as well. It certainly couldn't do anything to "hurt this recovery" by this point. He's cursed that enough on his own already.

Anyway that's my idea. Because I'm lazy and I want to finish this post before the end of the day, here's the beginning of a list of ways the curse might affect Nagin in the coming years which I will leave to you to finish.

1) Announces sudden and immediate retirement from politics and public life altogether. Is rarely if ever heard from again.

2) Breaks leg and is subsequently arrested for operating an illegal crane-fighting ring.

3) Unexpectedly leaves New Orleans for good. Resurfaces two years later as the Mayor of a rival city (Perhaps Dallas) which he very nearly leads to spectacular new heights of civic bliss only to badly disappoint everyone at the very last second. Somehow this results in a harebrained change to NFL overtime rules the following season.

Enjoy the NFL Draft tonight. I have no clue what the Saints are up to. All I know is that they sure as shit won't be needing a punter.

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