You see, the other day there was this City Business article about the increasingly healthy menu items available at the Dome. But what the article failed to point out is that these healthier choices are only available nearest the more expensive seats. In the upper terrace, where the plebes like me sit, the fare still consists of a decidedly unhealthy set of choices ranging from Cheese-whizzy nachos to $50,000 Bloody Marys. So in a subtle and devious way, stadium management is trying to engineer the population by promoting healthy living among the upper classes and dangerous habits among the poor.
At the end of that post(which you will never see), I noted that the Saints (then 2-2) were right on track to post the .500 overall record this site pegged them for at the beginning of the season. But the road to 8-8 is a tumultuous one that is by turns exhilarating, infuriating, absurd and hilarious. In other words, it's particularly hard on the heart valves of fans on an already questionable diet.
It's almost as if the Saints and LaBruzzo are in cahoots. Forget sterilization. Let's fill them full of hotdogs and make them watch Martin Gramatica. Monday night's game... itself full of exhilarating, infuriating and hilarious moments... was perhaps the best evidence yet that such a conspiracy may exist.
Saints vs Vikings (all game photos stolen from NOLA.com):
- The shock tactics began before the opening kickoff when the pre-game introductions were accompanied by giant streams of actual fire set off by pyrotechnicians on the field. Presumably this touch was added to fit the Monday Night atmosphere, but I think that Dome officials were gong for a cheap scare right at the outset. It was a little jarring but nothing we couldn't handle. I think Menckles shouted "I am the great and powerful Oz" until the flames went away and we could just get on with things.
And the getting on with things seemed to be going fairly well. Frenchy Thomas returned the opening kickoff across the 50 (more on the crappy Vikings kick coverage later) and then Drew Brees hit Devery Henderson for a 17 yard touchdown and the Saints were in business.
Brees. Another day, another 330 yds passing that nobody notices until the game is over with
Things continued to go well as the Saints outplayed the Vikings for much of the first quarter. Even the beleaguered and injury-ridden Saints defense stuffed Adrian Peterson and would keep him in check for the rest of the game. During the week, when Sedrick Ellis got hurt, I mentioned that his tendency to overreact and ignore his gap responsibility had hurt the Saints' run defense. With Ellis out of there, the Saints held an all-pro runner to 32 yards. - Then it got weird. Before the end of a first quarter that seemed to be going so well, the Vikings would run up ten "unearned" points which kept them in a game where they had been otherwise outplayed. First, Minnesota's Antoine Winfield returned a blocked Martin Gramtica field goal attempt 59 yards for a game-tying touchdown. This brought on a rather bizarre argument in our section where I repeatedly insisted that Gramatica's kick came off the ground too low because he is too short to kick over the defense and where everyone else repeatedly threatened to hit me.
We went on like that until, following, a successful Gramatica field goal, Coach Soupy inexplicably decided to squander his lead and momentum with an ill-advised attempt at an onside kick. After recovering the kick, the Vikings managed to drive exactly one yard... but still came away with three points since Soupy had already kicked them into field goal range. In a comment thread Tuesday morning, Leo compared Soupy to an unholy combination of Mike Martz and Denny Green. That stings.
Even Drew is considering that comparison, though. You can tell. - Overlooked fact: Tight ends Billy Miller and Mark Campbell combined for 100 yards on 7 receptions. Campbell picked up extra yardage with a nimble run after the catch which included a Reggie Bush-like hurdle over a defender. Miller turned in a huge 41 yard catch and run in the fourth quarter on the drive that should have won the game for the Saints. Jeremey Shockey (AKA Poochie) was inactive with a hernia injury. The Saints don't have a second round draft pick next year for some unfathomable reason. Some have suggested that this may be by design.... but let's try to keep to one conspiracy theory at a time for now, okay?
- A Brees fumble on the Saints' 5 yard line set up a go-ahead touchdown for the Vikings on a halfback pass. Then it got really weird.
Over my many years of watching and attending Saints games, I've been accustomed to seeing or hearing fans in the top row of each section bang on the metal walls in order to create noise when the opposing team has the ball. When we purchased our season tickets in 2006, we selected seats in the top row so that we could participate in this time-honored bit of idiocy which has been in practice basically since the Superdome opened in 1975. During the second quarter of a crucial Monday Night game in 2008, Superdome security decided that it was time to crack down.
A few minutes into the second quarter, for no apparent reason, a uniformed security person shouted at everyone in our section that the next fan seen banging on the wall would be thrown out of the stadium. We were mystified. Is this some bizarre interpretation of the NFL's notorious new "Fan Code of Conduct"? The section adjacent to ours is typically filled with fans of the visiting team. Did one of the Vikings fans complain? If so, why? And also fuck them. Over the past three seasons, the Superdome has become an ever-more fan-unfriendly environment. What can be done to reverse this trend?
Seriously. The Saints NEED YOU ON THAT WALL - But if the wall weirdness had Saints fans confused, this was nothing compared to the ensuing weirdness on the field courtesy of some confused game officials. Because this was a nationally televised game, and because Ed Hochuli's crew of officials has been under such scrutiny lately, the non-call of a face mask penalty moments before Reggie Bush's fumble has gotten a lot of attention. (I happen to think Bush fumbled the ball on his own and not as a result of the face mask but that's hardly relevant.)
Nobody had better lay a finger on that wall, but this... this is fine for some reason
Because Coach Soupy was recently fined $15,000 for whining about the officiating in the Denver game, the Saints have resorted to more subtle means of protest over the blown call. Fans in the Superdome were not quite so passive aggressive. The already loud and restless Monday Night crowd booed and chanted "bullshit" (clearly in violation of the Code of Conduct, btw) for the next half hour or so. Their outrage was heightened by the fact that the very next play was an obvious incomplete pass to a Minnesota receiver which Hochuli's crew judged to be a reception. The play was eventually overturned by replay but only after another five minutes of near rioting from the fans.
The next Vikings possession brought an opportunity for more of the same. Minnesota running back Adrian Peterson appeared to fumble the ball. It was picked up by Charles Grant who ran for about fifteen yards before lateraling to Mike McKenzie who brought the ball all the way back near the Minnesota 10 yard line. The play, which took a long time to develop, was never whistled dead. After the fact, however, the officials decided that Peterson was down before the ball came out. It was actually a very close call which prompted another replay challenge from the Saints. After five or ten minutes of jeers from the fans, Hochuli offered his explanation. The ruling, delivered in a confounding Sarah Palin-esque verbiage, seemed to state that, yes, the ball was coming out as the player was going down but since his hand was still kind of touching the ball as his knee hit the ground, Minnesota retains possession. I've never heard anyone explain a non-fumble that way. I hope it happens again soon, though. The disgust in the stands was beyond hilarious.
Here Soupy appears to have possession of the red challenge flag. But who can truly judge such things? - Brees threw two interceptions in this game. One was on a Hail Mary heave with two seconds remaining in the game. Lance Moore, who ordinarily catches everything thrown at him, inexplicably bobbled a ball causing a big Second Quarter interception; one of the many many weird things that happened Monday night. Brees has thrown six interception in five games this year. I can't remember a single one that was explicitly his fault.
- Deuce McAllister: 6 carries 13 yards. The 49ers game was an emotional moment for Saints fans who saw Deuce's triumphant return to the fold as perhaps a turning point in the season. Against Minnesota, however, McAllister was once again conspicuously absent from the game plan. Before Reggie Bush's first touchdown, the third quarter was looking like a major snooze-fest. The Saints could get nothing going offensively. Perhaps this would have been a good time to get Deuce involved. He carried once for two yards during this portion of the game.
DEUCE MCALLISTER NOT PICTURED - Then it got really weird. With about two minutes left to play in the third quarter, the Vikings lined up to punt the ball away to Reggie Bush. Bush had been having a largely unremarkable game thus far save for a halfway decent night receiving. R (big R, not little r... they're two different people) leaned over and said "Bush is about due for a big play here," to which I added, "Yeah either that or another fumble." 71 yards later, the Saints were suddenly back in the game.
On his very next punt return opportunity, Bush, obviously aware at this point that he was on TV, very nearly broke another one. Instead he fell on his face for no apparent reason. r (little r, not big R) looked at me and said, "He tripped over his own douchebaggery." Seems a reasonable explanation. The Saints concluded that possession with a successful 53 yard field goal by Martin Gramatica. For that, there simply is no reasonable explanation.
But it gets weirder. On his very next punt return opportunity, Reggie Bush took it all the way back again. The two punt returns for touchdowns tied some sort of NFL record and had the Saints ahead late in the game for reasons every bit as strange as the reasons they trailed for most of the first half.
Lost in all the excitement over Bush's punt returns (remember, kids, he also fumbled twice) is the overall poor performance of the Vikings' kick coverage. Pierre Thomas also had a big night returning kickoffs. Frenchy had 5 returns for 168 yards compared to Reggie's 5 returns for 176. (He also didn't fumble once all night) The fact that the Minnesota special teams coach still has a job this week is a bit of an upset in its own right.
Also see this amusing anecdote about the Vikings' punting strategy - Pants factor: The 2-3 Saints are now 1-1 in their idiotic looking black pants and 1-2 in the more traditional and sensible gold. Obviously the data does not show a clear bias at this point. The Saints have worn white jerseys in every home game this season. Has anyone got any idea why?
- And THEN it just got freaky nutty type weird. Bush's two touchdowns had the Supedome rocking and the Vikings back on their heels. Just then, the 37 year old Viking quarterback, Gus Frerotte, took a dead-on kill shot from Will Smith as he haphazardly chucked the ball straight up in the air. The crowd winced, then "ooh"ed, and then fell silent as Frerotte lay motionless on the ground. R (big R, not little r) looked over at me and said, "Dude, Frerotte is dead. They killed him."
My answer this time: "Who gives a shit? The dude caught the ball!"
Bernard Berrian had made the improbable reception 36 yards down the field. Two plays later, Frerotte returned from the dead to hit Berrian again for the game tying touchdown. You really have to just give it up to Gus Frerotte here. Getting up off the mat like that was some straight up tough stuff and probably the most remarkable play in a remarkable game.
Frerotte gave as good as he got Monday - Devery Henderson had a big game and is playing the best football of his career so far this season. However, we would be remiss if we did not mention that on a crucial 3rd and 9... on the Saints last meaningful possession of the game... one play before Martin Gramatica missed a potential go-ahead field goal... Devery ran the wrong route. Brees adjusted to Minnesota's all-out blitz and threw an out route. Devery ran deep. Incomplete pass. Enter Gramatica.
It's been mostly Good Devery this year... but sometimes we still see Bad Devery - Uh oh the kicker sucked! Enter Gramatica... and now Exit Gramatica. After Martin Gramatica's sucky kicking cost them two games this season, the Saints have cut their losses and will start again this week with the guy who lost the job in training camp. We're not enthused, but something certainly had to happen.
We will miss his amusing hair, though
It's hard to feel too bad about how this game ended. After the missed field goal, there really wasn't any proper way... karmatically speaking... for the Saints to come away with the win. Once you're resigned to that reality, the fact that the Vikings got into field goal range by virtue of a stupid pass interference penalty is really only fitting. The fact that the penalty happened because Kevin Kaesviharn desperately rushed to close the massive gap in coverage left by Jason David is even more fitting. The fact that Jason David was in the game at all because Tracy Porter was lost (now for the season) to injury is disappointing... but also fitting.
Right down to the fitting end, this was one of the most exciting and memorable games the Saints have ever played at home. At 2-3 some of the fans are starting to get a little down, but there's still lots of football to be played this year. Of particular interest is the fact that the Saints are still 1-0 in divisional games and still have plenty of opportunities to play themselves into contention. They also have plenty of opportunities to continue testing the cardiac health of the fans in the terrace. Now may be a good time to start working on that fitness plan.
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