People liked Payton's love letter

I was kind of surprised at how many people took Sean Payton's bizarre press conference yesterday at face value. Ted Lewis thought Payton "showed loyalty to the community" by staying with a job he's obviously trapped in for the time being.

Larry Holder gets it at least half right.

I asked Payton if teams reached out to him to gauge his interest of leaving New Orleans. He mentioned semantics about how teams can't reach out to him specifically. But added, "I know there was one report and I don't know the gist of it all, but no. The protocol would have been via the Saints, but no. Not at all."

Payton never acknowledged whether or not he pondered other opportunities despite being asked.

I found this hard to believe, considering Payton said this earlier in the press conference: "I know Mickey is too smart and I know no one's giving up the compensation that he was, I'm sure, looking and researching. That could only happen if I sign off on it and I think the cart kind of gets ahead of the horse a little bit and yet I understand how that could happen."

If Loomis is researching for possible compensation packages for a "trade" of a coach, you're going to tell me this scenario never actually existed with another team or teams?

Holder is correct to be suspicious. But that's sort of obvious. What he falls for in the meantime is Payton's weird "love letter to NOLA" spoken word essay. Holder says of Payton, "He sounded like a true New Orleanian."

As a lifelong New Orleanian, I have yet to discover an appropriate definition of what a "true" one of those is supposed to be.  To me, Payton sounded like the drug addled rejected job applicant he obviously was.  The Saints tried to move Payton this week. No one offered what he thought he was worth. So now he's stuck here for, "as long as they'll have me."   That's not "loyalty to the community," whatever that means. That's coming to realize you're only a big fish when you swim in the small pond.

Admittedly, this is how a lot of transplants come to be "true New Orleanians." But it's important to understand that this is not a story about coming to love a city so much as it is about learning to rationalize failed ambition.  Which is why most of the time a "Love Letter To NOLA" much like a "Break Up With NOLA" is really about a narcissistic author transferring a personal success or disappointment onto a romanticized idea of the city itself.  When it isn't those things, then it's probably just cynical marketing copy.

When it's coming from a hyper-competitive millionaire celebrity like Sean Payton, it's probably a little bit of both.

Bye, Sean

Weird way for this to end. It's not often  you see a football coach traded. Although it does happen more frequently than a river flood in January,  I guess.

Anyway, looks like the most likely partner is the Giants. In which case,  we want Odell Beckham.

Why we keep hearing about "Sean Payton's next job" every week

It's because, like it or not, the Rita Scare is real.

One of the primary issues is whether Benson's estranged daughter, Renee Benson, and her two children – Rita Benson LeBlanc and Ryan LeBlanc – can gain a stronger grip on the Saints somewhere inside a tangle of ongoing litigation, the source said.

The NFL owner is engaged in legal and financial wrangling on a number of fronts with Renee Benson and her children, two of which impact some aspect of ownership in the Saints. The first is an appeal of a June court decision that ruled Tom Benson competent to rule over his estate, something Renee Benson and her lawyers have disputed. The second is a federal lawsuit filed by Benson against trustees who blocked him from removing the stakes his estranged relatives have in the Saints (roughly 60 percent of non-voting stock in the team) and Pelicans (95 percent). Boiled down, Benson is attempting to forcefully remove Renee Benson and her children from ownership in the sports franchises by trading their stock shares with a comparable financial package. Trustees blocked the move and Tom Benson is suing them.

A lot of us may have begun tuning out the Benson legal turmoil after we were disappointed to learn that our clearly non-functional court system considers Tom Benson mentally competent. But, it turns out there's still a lot up in the air here. The way this reads, in fact, Team Rita seems like it has a distinct upper hand.

The trust funds were set up as a way to pass down his fortune while saving on taxes. But in January, Benson announced he was instead cutting ties with Renee, Rita and Ryan and leaving the teams to his third wife, Gayle Benson. He stopped talking to Renee, Rita and Ryan and fired them from his various businesses.

Now, Benson is relying on a tactic allowed under the trusts to remove ownership interests in the teams from the trust accounts. The rules allow for Benson, as the grantor, to remove assets from the trusts in exchange for assets of equal value.

Benson can't just disinherit Renee and Rita. He has to sort of buy them out of their stake in the Saints and Pelicans. But he is proposing to do that by replacing the most valuable assets in the trust with paper. That might not be something he can actually do because, well... there's probably no combination of promissory notes and company scrip or whatever he can produce that is of "equal value" to the sports franchises.

So there's reason to worry that Renee and Rita could end up with control of the team.  And there's reason to bank on them spitefully firing everyone who had been loyal to Tom and Gayle during this process.  It's also well known that Sean Payton does not want to work for Rita LeBlanc under any circumstances. Which is why Payton wants to have an exit strategy in place.  And this is why you're seeing these rumors week in and week out.

Not everyone thinks it's reason to believe the sky is falling, though.  Here's what the Advocate's Nick Underhill had to say on this.

There are still battles to be fought over Benson cutting his relatives out of his life and his businesses. One of those is over the non-controlling shares of teams that were placed in trusts for them that Benson is now trying to take back. But the current succession plan contains several redundant legal protections that allow Benson to dictate who gets the teams upon his passing.

What's not clear to me, though, is whether the legal conditions under which the trust operates render Benson's succession plans moot. It looks like the judge decided not to rule on the trustees motion to dismiss Benson's suit over that today.  

Benson, himself, wasn't even on hand for that. He was too busy trying to build his argument against eternal damnation which, as this entire succession question might indicate, is certainly pending.   Probably gonna cost him more than $20 million at this point, though.

Mayor Giuliani goes to Bourbon Street

Shocked SHOCKED that you can find "lewd/immoral acts" there.

Several strip clubs on Bourbon Street have been busted by the Louisiana Office of Alcohol and Tobacco Control and Louisiana State Police for activity involving drugs, prostitution and "lewd/immoral acts," the agencies announced Tuesday morning.

The results of a month-long undercover investigation called Operation "Trick or Treat" will be released at a news conference this afternoon.

Names will be released and charges will be discussed by ATC Commissioner Troy Hebert and LSP Col. Mike Edmonson.

On the one hand, maybe it fits with the Disneylandrieu narrative. Mitch is going to Bourbon Street to sanitize it the way  Giuliani did Times Sqaure. You know, to make it wholesome enough to please the better people moving in to the new New Orleans.  Remember last weekend, wealthy French Quarter property owners approved a new sales tax that helps fund the presence of these State Police officers... along with Sidney Torres who once was known for making everything down there smell "lemony fresh."

So there's that angle. But also, given the way French Quarter prostitutes and powerful people have been in the news, lately,  maybe we're seeing a little bit of the spirit of Jim Garrison at work here.

Years before his inquiry into the Kennedy assassination, New Orleans District Attorney Jim Garrison first captured the national spotlight in late 1962, when he launched a series of raids on French Quarter strip clubs and bars. Even more extraordinary than the vice raids themselves was Garrison's verbal feud with Orleans Parish's criminal court judges, whom he accused of restricting funds for his raids due to their ties to organized crime.

And that seems kind of appropriate also following on the heels of Oswald Con  and, of course, the shocking news that Oswald is, in fact, alive, well, and coaching the football team.

Sean Payton is the dreamiest / best coach pic.twitter.com/hPJKzvJjLe

— KM-Ultra (@immerspaetlin) October 25, 2015

Anyway, God help the strippers if it turns out they were making too much noise.

Burn out Sean is burned out

"Some strongly believe.." he's already walking naked on the beach.

Sean Payton is right; the annual reports that he’s leaving New Orleans eventually will be right. In response to the latest round of reports that Payton may be leaving the Saints, Payton has said he wants to stay put in the place he has called home since 2006.

That won’t keep people in the league from being convinced that Payton will be coaching in Miami as of 2016. And people currently in the league definitely believe Payton will coach the Dolphins next year.

Florio doesn't have any new information here. All he's doing is reiterating what was reported last week without naming sources or anything. At least that's what it looks like. 

Honorable NOLAier mention to Sean Payton

This was a fun way to blow off steam yesterday.

On Sunday, (artist Jeremy) Herbert’s ink won him the designation “Nolier Than Thou,” a satirical and tongue-in-cheek title bestowed during a drinking event hosted by organizers behind the grass-roots organization Rising Tide, which has hosted an annual conference since 2006 to discuss the ever-changing future of New Orleans.

Held at Molly’s at the Market, the contest was created as a way to poke fun at the city’s obsession with its own legitimacy, with residents incessantly grappling with what it means to be a New Orleanian.

“It’s reached a level where it’s worthy of satire — the amount of New Orleans pride everyone who lives here currently has,” Rising Tide organizer and artist Lance Vargas explained, laughing at the notion. “And the deeper you dig into the philosophies behind it, the more absurd it’s going to seem.”

Here's the Facebook invite we sent out.  It describes, at some length, the reasoning behind the contest as well as its mechanics.

Attire to be judged in a 10 point system in three categories:

Resilience: How long have you had it? What's it been through? What is it's current condition? What's it's personal history?

Standing: How legit is it? Is it a rarity? How rare? Did Fats Domino once own it? What's it mean to New Orleans in general?

Vibrancy: How does it communicate your Nolism? Would you be stopped on the street and exalted for your Nolism? Does it scream Nolier than thou? Do you have to explain it in your Nolier Than Thou voice with correct pronunciation of New OR-Lee-ANs? How well does it read Nolier than thou?

The three judge panel included one native New Orleanian,  one pre-K transplant, and one post-K transplant.



Now I don't want to go too far in the direction of impugning the integrity of the process but I am still scratching my head a bit this morning over the fact that this stunningly Nolier collection of objects didn't win some sort of  prize.

Another transplant New Orleanian, who wished to remain nameless, presented a can of Budweiser-bottled filtered drinking water that was handed out along with Meals, Ready-to-Eat after the city was devastated by Hurricane Katrina.

The can of water brought a needed, therapeutic laugh for participants who seemed ready to forget the storm the day after the city was inundated with commemorative events for Katrina’s 10th anniversary.

That is some vibrant, standing, resilient shit right there. Meanwhile, this guy who just showed up in a T-shirt and rambled on about being from the West Bank ended up coming in third.



Then again, nothing in this city makes any sense so what could be Nolier than that?  I feel kinda bad for Sean Payton, though.  Nobody even knew he was playing until after the party was over.

NEW ORLEANS – Head coach Sean Payton said his decision to draw Katrina x-codes on his shirt during Sunday's preseason game against the Houston Texans wasn't planned in advance.

"I hadn't really thought about it, and I don't think anyone else really had," Payton said.

Search and rescue teams used the x-codes in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to mark which houses had been checked for survivors.

Payton said he was reminded Sunday of wanting to learn what each code meant, and it was "just kind of a spur of the moment" choice to honor Katrina survivors by displaying one of the x-codes on his shirt.

"It just seems fitting," Payton said. "I was at the pre-game meal and I started going through and looking up -- everyone who has lived here, many homes still have the insignias on it, east, north, south, west, it was pretty interesting to study or learn how they were used in regards to any home being searched."

Congrats to all the NOLIErs.


Update:  Oh hey here is a link to Scott Colesby's video documentation of the event.

I shot some video of Varg being a jackass I might post later if it's any good.

The Bill Parcells era of Saints football

It's what we've been living through for ten years.   

“Jeff has got a lot of experience, and he’s been a part of a lot of successful drafts. His opinion counts; everyone’s opinion up there counts,” Loomis said of Ireland, who also made his mark in the 2000s as the chief college scout for the Dallas Cowboys, where he worked with Payton under coach Bill Parcells.

Payton said Parcells’ influence could also be felt in the Saints’ draft room since he had “pounded” some of the same values into both himself and Ireland for years (including the importance of size).

“Here we are in this draft, and the discussion is maybe a short corner or an undersized [player], and the whole time I’m looking at [Ireland] and saying, ‘You’re taking the call from Parcells, not me.’” Payton cracked. “There are traits that he learned, and we were both fortunate to have those three years together. But he’s real savvy, smart, and he loves football. He really did a good job, and our scouting department worked extremely hard as well.

Not the first time we've read about how surprisingly influential Parcells has been on Saints operations during Payton's tenure.  Not bad results, generally.

QOTD

Sean Payton speaking to the press about his decision to spend the 13th pick in the draft on a tackle who probably won't play this year.

“I have serial episodes of very heavy drinking where I have absolutely no recollection of what I do. That is the case in this case.”

Wait. No. Hold up. That is actually from something else. 

The good (and bad) news is Sean Payton is still Sean Payton

The coach who wrote a screenplay about improving football games through the use of an X-Box, is still talking about improving football games through the use of virtual reality.

BOSTON -- New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton has an idea. And now, for the first time in NFL history, it's a realistic possibility.

Imagine a young quarterback walking into a room at the Saints' practice facility. He straps on a headset, flips a switch and plays a virtual game against the Atlanta Falcons' defense. His vision is filled with current Falcons schemes and players, who move and react based on data compiled by the NFL's "Next Gen Stats" program.

"The challenge we have all the time is that it's the one position where there's only one of them in the game the entire time," Payton said Friday during an appearance at the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference. "The game ends, and how do you get those guys snaps, real-time snaps? Much like we develop pilots -- they do a lot of simulator work -- I think the opportunity exists [in football]. Especially when you're able to accurately show movement with chips, exactly how it unfolds with the defense."

Eventually we'll get to a place where all football happens in the virtual realm.  Although the brain damage may still be as severe as ever. 

Which departure should we be watching for?

You know I think SI's Peter King is as annoying as the next guy does. But, despite Sean Payton's protestations I don't know that this speculation is really all that "silly."

Sports Illustrated's Peter King ignited the blogosphere earlier this week, when he offered a video on his The Monday Morning Quarterback website, saying he could envision Payton making an early exit from New Orleans after this, his ninth season.

King's reasoning centered on Payton's mentor Bill Parcells' preference for leaving teams early before overstaying his welcome. King said coaches often develop a "wanderlust" after significant time with one organization, and Payton might be reinvigorated by going elsewhere.

"Absolutely no way," Payton shot back, unequivocally dismissing King's theory.

He wasn't quiet done expressing his distaste for the notion that he'd leave before his contract is up in three years.

"So it wasn't a report? Peter King offered his 10 things he thinks. It's silly. Won't happen," Payton said.

The basis for King's speculation is wrong.  We joke about "Grandpa Sean" a lot but he's not going to leave just for a change of scenery or for the sake of being "reinvigorated."  That really is a silly line of thinking.  Of course, coaches (typically) don't stay in one place forever but, when they leave, there's usually a reason beyond just "Welp, it's time to be gettin' on"

The conventional wisdom among Saints fans has long held that Payton will stick around in New Orleans at least as long as Drew Brees does.  According to Brees, that could be another ten years but he is clearly a crazy person.  A reasonable but generous assessment would give him another 4 or 5 years at most.  On the other hand, it may not be Brees's longevity the fans should be worried about.  

Tom Benson is 87 years old.  Recently, he's been actively spending more of his time and money building monuments to himself.   In the past few years, he has created the following.

The Gayle and Tom Benson Cancer Center at the Ochsner Cancer Institute

New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson today will announce a $5 million gift to expand cancer care in south Louisiana.  The donation will be used for the expansion of the Gayle and Tom Benson Cancer Center at the Ochsner Cancer Institute and kicks off a fundraising effort to provide more patients with cutting-edge cancer care and research options.

The Tom and Gayle Benson student mall at Brother Martin High School.

New Orleans, La. - Tom and Gayle Benson have donated $10 million to Brother Martin High School, the largest donation in the school's history. In honor of his gift,  Brother Martin will name the student Mall, the center of student activity on campus, in honor of Mr. and Mrs. Benson. Tom Benson is a 1944 graduate of St. Aloysius and says he remembers well the generosity of the Brothers of the Sacred Heart. 

Below is a photo of "Benson Field at Yulman Stadium"



But it's not the only football field that will bear Benson's name. There's also one in Ohio.

COLUMBUS, Ohio – The Pro Football Hall of Fame received a record $11 million donation from Saints owner Tom Benson to renovate its football stadium and build a residence that includes room for retired players.

The Hall of Fame made the announcement Monday. The pledge is the largest by an individual in the 51-year history of the Canton football shrine. Fawcett Stadium will be renamed Tom Benson Hall of Fame Stadium after the 87-year-old owner.

And, of course, there's this.



I know it was back in September and Saints fans were all too busy buying Superbowl tickets at the time to notice. But there were a couple of things about that statue unveiling that are worth another look.  

After seeing the statue for the first time, Benson was choked up and emotional as he was given the microphone.

"Oh, that's real nice," Benson said. "I never did think this would happen. So please, thank y'all very much."

It was a side of Benson that Loomis hadn't seen before.

"It did make me emotional to hear him get emotional," Loomis said. "I was saying this to some of the executives that I've been with for a long time, I've never seen him do that before. I've seen him get emotionally angry, but never emotional like this about any kind of issue. I know this meant a lot to him, so that's gratifying for all of us."

The way that's worded might lead the reader to believe the statue was a surprise to Benson.   It wasn't.  Benson was (maybe) "seeing the statue for the first time" at the unveiling. But it was obviously something he had long been involved in planning; the same way he'd been involved in planning everything else on this list.  Interesting, though, that this one, the statue of himself, is the one at which he tears up.

Anyway, the ceremony proceeded with Bobby Jindal lying about "Benson and his wife Gayle's commitment to the state after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita," (Benson actually tried to rip the Saints out of New Orleans after Katrina. The NFL forced him to come back.) Mitch Landrieu said something about "vitality."  And then Sean Patyon spoke. 

"As a head coach, I couldn't have had the opportunity to work for a better owner in our league."

Yeah, well, slim pickings with that lot, we know.  But, whatever we might think of Benson, it's true that he and Payton get along well.  We can't say the same, though, for Benson's probable successor.

Lost in the fact that the contract extension signed by Saints coach Sean Payton was rejected by the league office due to a term that would have invalidated the deal upon the departure of G.M. Mickey Loomis is the question of why that language was in the contract in the first place.

A league source tells PFT that Payton wanted to be sure that Loomis would be present to serve as a buffer between the coach and Rita Benson LeBlanc.

Here's one more recent Benson donation we left out because it doesn't appear to involve plastering his name or image on something. 

New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson and his wife, Gayle Benson, have committed a $5 million gift to the Team Gleason House for Innovative Living at St. Margaret's in New Orleans, Team Gleason Foundation officials announced Monday.

The funds will support the ongoing efforts of Team Gleason to provide people with ALS and other debilitating conditions an environment where they can live vital and productive lives with meaningful freedom and independence.

"Gayle and I couldn't be more proud of the work that Steve and Team Gleason are doing for people living with ALS. Steve inspires us all with his message of facing and overcoming adversity, Tom Benson, said in a release. "And, we wanted to be part of growing this community of productive individuals committed to living as independently as possible."

For the most part this end-of-life giving spree is Tom Benson's desperate attempt to immortalize himself in this world. But, devout Catholic that he is, we also have to suspect he's trying to pass his proverbial camel through the old needle's eye.   If Benson happens to set off on that journey before Drew Brees decides to retire, Sean Payton may be headed out of New Orleans before then too.

The Parcells era Saints

Larry Holder finds lots of neat stuff in Bill Parcells' biography about his relationship with Sean Payton and, thus, the influence he's had over the way things have developed in New Orleans over the course of Payton's tenure here.  Most surprising is how close Parcells seems to have come to actually accepting the job of substitute coach during Payton's 2012 suspension.  The weird bit would have been that he wanted to hire additional staff. 

Parcells strongly considered taking over as Payton's temporary replacement as head coach before the NFL barred Payton from the Saints' facility for his season-long suspension connected to the bounty scandal. Even former Giants great Lawrence Taylor pushed Parcells to take the job. The Saints gave Parcells permission to contact Al Groh, then at Georgia Tech and former Jets and Virginia head coach, and Eric Mangini, an ESPN analyst at the time and former Browns head coach, about joining him as Parcells knew no one on the Saints' staff. Saints general manager Mickey Loomis was described as being reluctant about Parcells coming in. "Who knows what Loomis really thought," Parcells said. "I don't have any idea. I don't know Loomis; I only met him once. But guys like me threaten guys like him." Ultimately, Parcells decided not to take the job. Taylor even called Parcells with disappointment saying, "Coach, I had never known you to (expletive) out on anything."

I wonder if that's a way of writing that Loomis actually nixed this. 

Backblogged

I've been too busy to keep up the Yellow Blog as much as I'd like to lately.  So there's a backlog of stuff I'm going to hang here over the next few days just so I'll have a halfway decent chance of remembering it later. (That's mostly the purpose of this blog, anyway.)

For example, there's this thing that happened earlier in the week.

Sean Payton isn’t just a coach anymore.

Now he’s a doctor.

Payton spent his weekend at in Charleston, Ill., where he received an honorary doctorate of public service from Eastern Illinois University, his alma mater. The school had previously retired his No. 18 jersey in 2010.

 This is memorable primarily because of the photo.



But also because I was momentarily baffled by the "Public Service" degree. It turns out that it has something to do with his charitable foundation which is nice, I guess, although I'm pretty sure every pro athlete and coach has one of some kind.

Honorary Doctor of Pharmacology, though. That would have made some sense.

The wisdom of Sean Payton

Payton said, "I don't think everything happens for a reason. I'd say everything happens." Concerning his suspension.
— Larry Holder (@LarryHolder) March 20, 2013

Payton said a bunch of other things to Holder although nothing else quite so profound.

Better lock up the Vicodin closet at Saints camp

Gambit: Payton and Saints agree in principle to new five-year deal

I know of at least three books written (or ghost written)  about the 2009 Saints season.  One by the quarterback's PR team, one by the once and future coach, and one by a transplant from Louisville looking to cash in on fan nostalgia.

But the long saga of 2012 would make for far more interesting reading, if treated properly.  Not sure who we should give this deal to. I'm guessing Sean Pamphilon has several medium-sized blog posts he could submit for publication immediately but that doesn't sound exactly right.  Joe Vitt comes to mind, but his material is more suitable for a "Shit Joe Vitt Says" daily tear-away calendar of quotations... which should also definitely be published but we still don't have our epic chronicler. Sean Payton's sabbatical is already over. Who the hell is going to write this thing?

Direct approach

For some reason it took four whole weeks before anybody asked Sean Payton one of these, "If you could tell the team something...." questions.  And, of course, this in no way violates the commissioner's "no communication" directive on account of the fact that no one on the team owns a TV or radio.

Gru Dog

Sean Payton's persona is taking on a distinctly Greg Meffertesque aspect as of late.

Banished Saints Head Coach and occasional conga man Sean Payton is apparently on the motivational circuit, and he has been speaking to the enemy. But, at least he was funny. North Texas is gearing up for next weekend's season opening showdown next weekend in Death Valley with the LSU Tigers, so they invited the Saints' suspended coach to give them a little advice. Turns out, Payton is still coaching.

I leave here in about in half an hour and I go to a sixth-grade practice. I've got kids looking at dandelions and picking their boogers.  I'm trying to put in 50 plays.  You ought to see the offense we got.  We scrimmaged last week and we gutted this team we played. I called up my friend Jon Gruden. I said, "Gru Dog, man, we just gutted this team. They didn't stop a play we just ran.

Meanwhile, Payton's replacement to his replacement Aaron Kroemer is preparing for tonight's fake game vs the Houston America's Cows by handing out bro nicknames to everyone he comes into contact with.  Fans aren't sure how much they'll see of "Drew Dog" or any of the Saints' starters this evening.  More likely they're most looking forward to the halftime update on Isaac from Giant Bob Breck via the jumbotron.

As for ourselves, we'll be evaluating the performance of our new plastic flask at the Superdome gate because.. we paid for these tickets anyway, right?

They needed a bongo player

Fox8: Sean Payton will attend Hall of Fame ceremony

Suddenly "Free Sean Payton" takes on a whole new meaning

Report: Sean Payton, wife file for divorce

I suppose this is sad... or maybe it's happy news for them.  Either way, I guess it's their business. But it's worth mentioning because it puts a cap on the Greatest Offseason Ever which you will find summarized here.

But all great things come to an end eventually.  Here's a sign that we may finally be working our way back to a more boring normal state of affairs soon.

Starting to think the "X-Box Kid" script was really about a kid playing Rock Band

Sean Payton's Suspension Tour continues.  So far we've learned he can play bongos and now, as it turns out, keyboards as well. Haven't seen any news about Payton singing... although I guess that's Anthony Hargrove's talent, so to speak.

Philospophical consistency

Mickey Loomis speaking this afternoon about the announcement that linebackers coach Joe Vitt will be filling in for Sean Payton this year:

It is important that we keep Sean Payton's philosophy front and center during this season. Sean has been the driving force behind the tremendous success our team has enjoyed during the past six years,

That philosophy being that the head coach doesn't have to be at all the games, I guess. Payton missed one and a half games last year and will miss all of them this year. (That's a lot of hot dogs!) Vitt will be suspended for the first six games this season.

Anyway the most surprising fact we've discovered in analyzing today's news is that legendary TV pitchman Ron Popeil does not have a mustache. I was all set to end this post joking that Vitt and Popeil are kind of similar looking mustache buddies or something. But look! Popeil doesn't even have one!



I was shocked. He certainly looks like he's supposed to have one. Did he ever? I can't find any photos of him with one. Someone should do something about this.

Meanwhile it turns out that Vitt pictured below, doesn't look all that much like Popeil with or without the 'stache.



Instead, I think he's more the Jack "Winnebago Man" Rebney type.



And this is probably the best news of all. Because, given the way the 2012 season is likely to go for the Saints, this is probably the guy we'll most want to see on the sideline as the debacle unfolds.