But in consolation, it gives us cash receipts

Newsweek challenges readers to distinguish between news and satire.

BP is stonewalling the State of Louisiana regarding payment of affected residents and clean-up workers.

DSS and LWC have already made repeated requests, but BP still has failed to share its process for considering claims made by individuals and businesses. In the latest response to the repeated requests, BP Managing Attorney Mark Holstein again denied to provide the material stating in a June 2 letter that while the state's requests are "undoubtedly made in good faith, they risk distracting our team from the very important goal of handling claims."

"I'm concerned about reports from citizens and parish officials that many people have not been paid by BP, or have only received an initial payment of $5,000 or less," said DSS Secretary Kristy Nichols. "More than 40 days into this disaster, people's livelihoods are on indefinite hold, it is becoming harder to support their families and some even face eviction from their homes. Immediate assistance from BP is critical."

Meanwhile, Gulf oil spill: BP to go ahead with $10bn shareholder payout

Tony Hayward, BP's embattled chief executive, will risk incurring further wrath in the US over the Gulf oil spill tomorrow by defying calls from politicians to halt more than $10bn (£6.8bn) worth of payouts due to shareholders this year.

Think of this as a money "hot tap" crazy straw. BP is sucking all the cash out the back door first. Will pass out what's left to victims and workers later. The good news is those among them lucky enough to have been paid so far may be able to double down on some of this action.

Bookmaker Paddy Power is now offering even odds that Hayward will be forced to leave his post by the end of this year, meaning two successive chief executives would have left earlier than originally intended. Hayward's predecessor John Browne departed following the Texas City fire which claimed 15 lives.

Here's another way Hayward can help. Last week, Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser told us he would "like to take (Hayward) offshore, dunk him under the surface of the water, pull him up with that black gooey stuff on him and have him say, 'Our research shows no oil beneath the surface. It's all coming to the top,'" This weekend, in the French Quarter, New Orleanians can partake of the first (and possibly last) New Orleans Oyster Festival If Nungesser wants to bring Hayward into town and set up a Gulf oil dunking booth, I'm sure he'd raise a pretty penny off the attendees in a hurry.