Saturday, April 30, 2005

Nice write up

This NYT piece on the soon to be shuttered Uglesich's is worth a look. Although it loses points for the completely unecessary use of the word insalubrious.

Here's a new one

Patron calls and asks for the phone number here, in case she needs to call back. I shit you not.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Awful Book of the Day

I don't have one at the ready so I'll defer to Matt Taibbi who was subjected to Tom Friedman's The World is Flat. An excerpt:
It's impossible to divorce The World Is Flat from its rhetorical approach. It's not for nothing that Thomas Friedman is called "the most important columnist in America today." That it's Friedman's own colleague at the New York Times (Walter Russell Mead) calling him this, on the back of Friedman's own book, is immaterial. Friedman is an important American. He is the perfect symbol of our culture of emboldened stupidity. Like George Bush, he's in the reality-making business. In the new flat world, argument is no longer a two-way street for people like the president and the country's most important columnist. You no longer have to worry about actually convincing anyone; the process ends when you make the case.
Review here

Just so you know

Right now I am wearing a rubber band and pretzel bracelet. You should all be so lucky.

Nothing to see here

US exonerates itself in the Sgrena case.

Potemkin Forces


The saga of Company E, part of a lionized battalion nicknamed the Magnificent Bastards, is also one of fortitude and ingenuity. The marines, based at Camp Pendleton in southern California, had been asked to rid the provincial capital of one of the most persistent insurgencies, and in enduring 26 firefights, 90 mortar attacks and more than 90 homemade bombs, they shipped their dead home and powered on. Their tour has become legendary among other Marine units now serving in Iraq and facing some of the same problems.

"As marines, we are always taught that we do more with less," said Sgt. James S. King, a platoon sergeant who lost his left leg when he was blown out of the Humvee that Saturday afternoon last May. "And get the job done no matter what it takes."

The experiences of Company E's marines, pieced together through interviews at Camp Pendleton and by phone, company records and dozens of photographs taken by the marines, show they often did just that. The unit had less than half the troops who are now doing its job in Ramadi, and resorted to making dummy marines from cardboard cutouts and camouflage shirts to place in observation posts on the highway when it ran out of men. During one of its deadliest firefights, it came up short on both vehicles and troops. Marines who were stranded at their camp tried in vain to hot-wire a dump truck to help rescue their falling brothers. That day, 10 men in the unit died.
Also: Retention Problems?

Monday, April 25, 2005

Making Football Players

Freaking NFL draft nearly ruined my Saturday. I didn't have to work. There were no time consuming errands to run. It was unbelievably gorgeous outside. We only get so many perfect days around here before the soul-sucking heat sets in. I really should have been out on the bicycle. But no, I spent most of the day sitting in front of the computer (I don't have cable) hitting the refresh button to see which fat fuck was the next to become a millionaire. It's a problem, I know. I'll work on it eventually. It's like eighth on my list.
I really don't have much to say about the Saints first three selections. They needed a tackle and a linebacker and one of the guys they drafted is named Bullocks which is kind of fun. But, in New Orleans, we only watch this stuff for the comedic value and for that the true payoff didn't come until Sunday. While I was busy shaking off a hangover and trying to keep Daisy from drowning her dog, the Saints were introducing us to the next name certain to adorn the Brad Muster-Cam Cleeland-Cie Grant memorial training room. That name is fourth round selection, Chase Lyman. You really ought to click on that link if only to get a look at the sad expression on the poor boy's face. It is well earned. This guy has been through an ordeal.
Note: Has had six surgical procedures since enrolling at California … Battled through a myriad of injuries (ankle, groin, hamstring, hip and appendicitis) during his career.

2000 -- Suffered a contusion on the back of his left knee during fall camp.

2001 -- Missed the season opener vs. Illinois after undergoing an appendectomy during August camp.

2002 -- Bothered by ankle and knee sprains during spring drills … Dislocated a finger and two days later, tore his hamstring away from the bone in fall camp … Underwent surgery and was granted a medical hardship.

2003 -- Held out of spring drills to continue recovering from hamstring surgery.

2004 -- Tore a ligament in his left knee vs. Southern California, undergoing surgery (10/12).
Suffice it to say Lyman was a rare sight on the football field during his time at Cal. What are the odds that he plays a complete season in New Orleans? Can we get some action on this? Who might help us answer that question? Oh I know who.
Meet fifth round pick, Adrian McPherson.
...McPherson was arrested on Nov. 27, 2002 on charges of stealing a blank check and receiving nearly $3,500 after it was cashed. He was kicked off the team, finishing his career with 98 of 192 passes for 1,215 yards (51.0 percent), 14 touchdowns and one interception. He also gained 196 yards on 71 rushing attempts (2.8 avg.).

Three months after being dismissed from Florida State, he was also charged with gambling on pro and college games (a second-degree misdemeanor). He attempted to enroll at another school, but with the legal issues, was forced to sit out the 2003 season.
Note below that this is exactly what we were hoping for going into the weekend. The guy is a can't miss proposition for Saints fans. The Saints are hoping that the admittedly talented McPherson can get his act together and compete with literacy advocate (and now, ugh, author) Aaron Brooks for his job. That could happen. Of course the other possibility is that McPherson gets together with Albert Connell and the two of them fly to Tahiti on Deuce McAllister's credit card. Either way, we are in for a show.

Doesn't exactly look like textbook form here. Is that his forgery arm he's using?

Friday, April 22, 2005

Please, God

Please let the Saints draft this guy.
The Saints have shown particular interest in McPherson, one of the most hotly debated prospects in the draft. He was dismissed from the Florida State team in November 2002 for allegedly stealing a blank check from an auto parts store and cashing it. He pleaded no contest to felony theft and received community service, 90 days of work detail and probation.

He also faced misdemeanor charges of gambling on college and professional games. A trial in summer 2003 on those charges ended in a hung jury. McPherson since has denied any involvement in gambling.
How fun!

New Pope not wasting time

Pope Benedict XVI has responded firmly to the first challenge of his papacy by condemning a Spanish government bill allowing marriage between homosexuals.

Also: A Pope is a Pope

Springtime in New Orleans

We are only now beginning to receive vague hints of the unimaginably torturous summer temperatures to come. Already Consuela is having fits of discomfort. What's worse is tonight I decided to open our underperforming A/C and discovered that this is happening. How bad is it? And more importantly, how likely is it that Slumlord will do anything about it?

In a related story,
The glaciers of the Antarctic Peninsula are in rapid retreat.

Thursday, April 21, 2005


Nothing to say other than, what the fuck is wrong with Chicagoans?

Addendum: Forgot to add, "Now if you'll excuse me I have to appear in a Tortilla in Mexico." Won't happen again.

Ray Davies is dumb

Not only did he incur a bullet wound by chasing an armed robber, but now he lets the guy's accomplice go free because he's too busy to show up for a trial.

Awful patron requests of the morning

Prayer of Jabez
by Bruce Wilkinson

"Prosperity Theology" ugh

Night Ranger's Greatest Hits

Yes, we have it. Yes, they wanted it. You might even say they will be motorin' to pick it up.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Nicknames of the Dead

I don't know if this is common practice in the newspaper business, but the Times-Pic has the bizzare habbit of printing nicknames in its obituary list. Here is a collection of nicknames that have appeared in this week's obits.
  • "Gus"
  • "Seaweed-Tiggy"
  • "Pat"
  • "Bucky"
  • "Weenie"
  • "Poppee"
  • "Sonny"
  • "Pete"
  • "Trudy"
  • "Jr."
  • "Hay"

Awful Book of the Morning

Kind of a weak crop today, even for this meme. I'll just leave it to you.

Past Lives, Future Healing
by Sylvia Browne

Six Steps to Spiritual Revival: God's Awesome Power in Your Life
by Pat Robertson (who else?)

Vote vote vote!

How could you not expect them to screw this up

While this reviewer doesn't seem to hate Hitchiker's Guide, he doesn't exactly leave you rushing out to see it either.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Cubs Win!

Cubs 7 Reds 1
Prior(2-0) 7 IP 4 Hits 1 Earned Run 6 Ks
Feeling slightly more optimistic.

Didn't know I had one... but yeah, sure

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!

You drink everyone under the table.

Teacher's Pet

Those are the first words that come to mind when someone mentions former Saints linebacker Sam Mills who sadly died of cancer this week. He was 45. Within that description, of course, are good and bad connotations. First, the good things. Everything that has been written about Mills today is true. He was the proverbial coach on the field of the great Saints defenses of the late 80s and early 90s. Those defenses are remembered for featuring four linebackers who played together as well as any group ever assembled. Pat Swilling was the flash, Vaughan Johnson the muscle, Mills the brains, and Rickey Jackson the heart. Mills's unassuming personality and his 5'9" stature made him a fan favorite. His intelligence and tendency not to complain made him a coach's favorite.
Unfortunately for Saints fans that coach happened to be Jim Mora. Because Mills was Mora's favorite player my memories of him will always be linked to closely to Mora and that is a shame. I had nothing against Sam Mills. He was a good guy and a good player. But as Mora's pet, he reminds me too much of Mora's sins which are legion. Jim Mora held back Saints teams capable of winning championships, practically ruined the careers of talented but less conformist players like Bobby Hebert and Craig "Ironhead" Heyward (aside: Heyward may be my all time favorite football player. Chunky, goofy, constantly beleaguered by those in authority; what's not to like?) and prevented the greatest Saint in history (Jackson) from getting the necessary attention to gain deserved entry to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Worst of all, Mora was a dull witted temperamental intolerable pompous ass. Um, did I mention I don't care much for Jim Mora?
If I sound like I'm ranting, it's only because Mills and Mora were Saints during my early teen years when football was maybe a little more important than a silly diversion. It's sad when anyone dies so young. Sam Mills, in doing so, has taken another piece of my youth along with him.

The "Field Mouse" calling the signals.

I don't mean to pick but..

But am I the only one who reads a typical "blogger sucks" post and thinks, It's a free service, people. Shut the fuck up.

Quote of the day (with a side note regarding my wounds)

This morning the toilet in the staff restroom backed up. As a result I became embroiled in about an hour's worth of largely unsuccessful plumbing. I am now sporting a smart blister on my plunging hand. Incidentally, this evening I developed another blister on my right heel while jogging. I only bring this up to point out that on the same day a new pope was chosen, I developed a half-stigmata of sorts. Coincidence? Anyway, back to the plumbing issues. Once we determined that one toilet was stopped up, Daisy asked the staff to keep an eye on the public restrooms lest they begin to develop similar symptoms. This was promptly answered by Irene who reported that the toilet in the ladies' room was "flushing like an animal."

More Popery

In addition to taking a backwards step by naming a theological conservative to the papacy, the church also will have to answer questions regarding the newly infallible one's Nazi ties. It appears in the above linked article that Ratzinger was not an enthusiastic collaborator. His involvement in the Hitler Youth was compulsory. He was conscripted into the army and eventually deserted. On the other hand, there is nothing here that looks particularly inspiring.. at least not in the vein of what one would expect of a pope whose supposed strong suit is his moral certitude. This bit, in fact, seems almost Clintonian.
Two years later Ratzinger was enrolled in an anti-aircraft unit that protected a BMW factory making aircraft engines. The workforce included slaves from Dachau concentration camp.

Ratzinger has insisted he never took part in combat or fired a shot — adding that his gun was not even loaded — because of a badly infected finger. He was sent to Hungary, where he set up tank traps and saw Jews being herded to death camps. He deserted in April 1944 and spent a few weeks in a prisoner of war camp.

Look,if your nickname is "God's Rotweiller" you may not be the best available ambassador for Peace on Earth.

Note: Blogger spellcheck seems to agree with me as it suggests replacing "Ratzinger" with "reticence"

White Smoke

It would appear that the Vatican has decided that the reactionary times demand a reactionary pope.
As dean of the College of Cardinals, Ratzinger called the cardinals to Rome for the conclave that elected him the 265th pope. Ratzinger, who turned 78 on Saturday, he has been head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith since 1981. In that position, he maintained strict discipline on church doctrine, including disciplining church officials who differed on church policy.

He has been the driving force behind the Vatican's crackdowns on liberation theology, religious pluralism, challenges to traditional moral teachings on issues such as homosexuality, and dissent on such issues as women's ordination.
Welcome to the new Dark Age.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Monday, April 11, 2005

Poll Question

New feature:

Which is the official Awful Book of the Morning?

Today's contenders:

A Teen's Game Plan for Life
by Lou Holtz

The Prodigal Husband
by Jacquelin Thomas

Vote now!

People Daisy has told me I look like this month

1) Hugh Grant
2) Jon Bon Jovi

People Daisy's friends tell her I look like:
1) Rob Reiner
2) Kevin Smith

You figure it out.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Woke up one hungover morning

Consuela and I got all did up and went out intending to hit our first 80s night in ages last night and ended up just sitting in Johnny White's and singing along to the jukebox until 4AM like the losers we are. As a consequence, here is what happened to my big plans for my Friday off:

9:00 AM Laundry Sleep

10:00 AM Run four miles Sleep

11:00 AM Internets Sleep

12:00 PM Haircut Internets

1:00 PM Bank Shower

Rest of the day FQF Haircut, Bank, FQF.... ok maybe just FQF

Bonus: Why elaborate on FQF when I can just post a rerun? Perk of being a blog people from way back.

Open Letter to Kathleen Blanco

While there are strong arguments to be made for the State putting its resources behind efforts to save New Orleans’s atrocious public school system or relieve the increasing wanderlust of its professional football franchise, I feel I must beg you to intervene on behalf of yet another essential Louisiana institution which we may have already lost. I am speaking here, of course, of Timshel. For nearly two years, the steward of this site known to his readers as “Ricky Prado” has provided, for free, a daily comprehensive compilation of news and commentary on Louisiana politics of a quality as high or higher than what they receive from most of the state’s professional journalists. Today, Ricky has announced that he no longer possesses the necessary resources to continue providing us with this service. Governor Blanco, I believe the State can and must do something to save this gem of the Louisiana blogosphere. For only a fraction of the cost of a Superdome renovation or a school system takeover, the State could provide Timshel with a modest annual operating funds grant, and perhaps a new computer, which should be enough to keep it running long after the Los Angeles Saints have won their first Superbowl. In the midst of so much carping in the mainstream media about the unchecked irresponsibility of the “blog people” Timshel is a true example of the best of what blogging can do for public discourse. Louisiana is a poorer place without it. I implore you, once again, to take action.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

And now for something completely tasteless

Ok I can't be the only one who has at least in part been secretly pining for this moment just for the opportunity to watch the whole conclave process. The answer to the obvious next question seems have been out there for some time now. It still may be a job for punditbook, however.
I also can't put the thought out of my mind that a leak from inside the College of Cardinals would be the story of the year. Not that it's too terribly likely that some septuagenarian cardinal will take it upon himself to live-blog the conclave but it is fun to think about. What conclavic moments might the world then be privy to.

9.30 am

You know you'd think the friggin Vatican could spring for some decent coffee at this thing. Cardinal Giovanni is sleeping at his desk again. No one says anything but I think they notice. This whole thing gets more embarrassing by the day. I don't know who this guy is talking right now but if I have to put up with one more of these fuckers droning on and on about The Da Vinci Code I'm going start seriously considering taking up snake handling. I'm seventy-eight years old for chrissake! I really ought to be home making the best of these precious final years. I certainly don't need to be flying halfway around the world to sit in a room full of pompous old farts trying to figure out who looks best in the big goofy hat. Personally, I could care less. I have enough trouble trying keep the altar boys from getting the wrong idea when I look directly at them. God I hate this. When is lunch?

Yeah, on second thought never mind.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Events Calendar

I can't tell you a whole lot about Spickle or Sam Sarah, but I can speak with some authority when I say that you will only bring shame upon yourself and your family if you miss Testaverde and The Vowden Key tomorrow night at Howlin' Wolf.