Sinking feelings

National headlines this morning:

Front page of today's USA Today:

In the past eight decades, Louisiana has lost 1,880 square miles of coastal marshes, or an area about the size of Manhattan every year. With another hurricane season upon us, it is land that Louisiana and the nation can ill afford to lose. The same threat of lost barrier islands and wetlands stalks more than half of the coastal properties of the continental United States, extending from Maine to Texas. But here in southeastern Louisiana, it's at its worst.

The sub-head adds insult to injury by throwing in a gratuitous line about "climate change-spiced gumbo." Try not to think about that.

Also here's a Mother Jones feature on Bayou Corne:

Bayou Corne is the biggest ongoing industrial disaster in the United States you haven't heard of. In addition to creating a massive sinkhole, it has unearthed an uncomfortable truth: Modern mining and drilling techniques are disturbing the geological order in ways that scientists still don't fully understand. Humans have been extracting natural resources from the earth since the dawn of mankind, but never before at the rate and magnitude of today's petrochemical industry. And the side effects are becoming clear.

And finally there's this local headline:

New Orleans Saints lose receiver Joe Morgan, defensive lineman Kenyon Coleman for season

Meanwhile, back in the real world

The Climate bill that just passed the House may not be the most direct way to go about reducing carbon emissions or "creating green jobs" as the President is fond of claiming, but it does create some interesting secondary markets.

When the program is scheduled to begin, in 2012, the estimated price of a permit to emit a ton of carbon dioxide will be about $13. That is projected to rise steadily as emission limits come down, but the bill contains a provision to prevent costs from rising too quickly in any one year.

The bill would grant a majority of the permits free in the early years of the program, to keep costs low. The Congressional Budget Office estimated that the average American household would pay an additional $175 a year in energy costs by 2020 as a result of the provision, while the poorest households would receive rebates that would lower their annual energy costs by $40.

Several House members expressed concern about the market to be created in carbon allowances, saying it posed the same risks as those in markets in other kinds of derivatives. Regulation of such markets would be divided among the Environmental Protection Agency, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission and the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission.

Wow what a fascinating potential clusterfuck that is to ponder.

Anyway, I'm not usually one to cheer oddball compromise market-incentive-based approaches to environmental legislation. A better bill would have set limits on emissions and EPA enforced penalties for violating those limits. But what they've come up with is far more imaginative and should be fun to watch in action. I'm just not so sure I mean "imaginative" and "fun" in a good way.

"Bambooty"

The NOAH story has officially made the crossing from the ridiculous to the sublime. That crossing being a bridge made of "environmentally friendly" bamboo, no doubt. The latest WCBF anyalysis (read googling) of NOAH contractors makes the following fascinating connection:

NOAH --> Parish-Dubuclet Services Inc. --> Trellis Smith --> EC Advertising --> Stacey Jackson.

That's former NOAH director (and, for a time, keeper of the sacred office keys) Stacey Jackson is a business partner of NOAH contractor Trellis Smith. Okay. Fine. Most of us would expect as much in a small town like this. A lot of people in and out of government services in any municipality know a lot of the same people and these people all network and go into business together. It's nothing new. Sometimes it looks bad but in reality it only IS bad if the government services in such people's charge are neglected in favor of furthering their private businesses. A lot of Dragonslaying types get so excited that they miss this point but proximity of persons is hardly anything to get all disturbed over.

What is disturbing is another business relationship between Smith and Jackson that E has dug up. The Him Store is a.. um... purveyor of high-end designer underwear for men. According to this Gambit feature (cleverly titled "Bambooty"), among the products offered at The Him Store is a new line of undergarmet made partially from... bamboo. We are told that the benefits of bamboo-based underwear include the following:

In addition to being a natural deodorizer, bamboo-made fabric wins points with environmentalists for its sustainability. It renews quickly, sucks in greenhouse gasses and releases oxygen.

Imagine encountering Al Gore in the street and being able to make an under any other circumstance obscene gesture and say to him, "I got yer global warming solution right here, Gore!" Or you could go to parties and say things like "Who wants to check my carbon footprint?" People would love you. Trust me on this.

E also points out that The Him Store offers franchising opportunities. That's right. You too could become a business partner with politically connected folks. Maybe some day You Could Be Famous too. It seems like now is as good a time as any to get in on the bamboo-based designer undergarmet business. With the Saints season soon to be underway, we're certain that Misters Bush and Shockey would make great potential spokespersons. Shockey, for one, can be seen on this morning's T-P sports page modeling a similarly douchey pair of fashionably manufactured faux cut-offs... for the discerning white trash man of leisure. As for Bush... well who wouldn't want to be sporting the latest in new-age undies when going through one's daily Fre Flo Do routine?

"Surprisingly Rapid Changes"

A Texas-sized piece of the Antarctic ice sheet is thinning, possibly due to global warming, and could cause the world's oceans to rise significantly, polar ice experts said on Wednesday.

They said "surprisingly rapid changes" were occurring in Antarctica's Amundsen Sea Embayment, which faces the southern Pacific Ocean, but that more study was needed to know how fast it was melting and how much it could cause the sea level to rise.

link

Update: Aha! Problem solved!

Today's big joke

They said the world is already committed to centuries of warming, shifting weather patterns and rising seas, resulting from the buildup of gases in the atmosphere that trap heat. But the warming can be substantially blunted by prompt action, the panel of scientists said in a report released here today.

link

Whoo that's a knee-slapper! We know all about "prompt action" in these parts.

Springtime in New Orleans

We are only now beginning to receive vague hints of the unimaginably torturous summer temperatures to come. Already Consuela is having fits of discomfort. What's worse is tonight I decided to open our underperforming A/C and discovered that this is happening. How bad is it? And more importantly, how likely is it that Slumlord will do anything about it?

In a related story,
The glaciers of the Antarctic Peninsula are in rapid retreat.