Motorist's advisory

About an hour ago Norman Robinson shared the following chilling message on Twitter.

Don't miss the hot seat this Sunday with Helena Moreno and James Perry.

Note that in order for this event to happen, we can expect Perry, Moreno, and Robinson to all three be using the roads at about the same time. If you're out driving yourself on Sunday please be aware of this hazard. If you don't have to travel during this time, it's best to just stay indoors. Preferably under something if possible.

Lackluster or condescending?

As we all know, I'm probably even less enthusiastic about the "reform" movement in NOLA politics than Adrastos. This year, the two most reform-y of the reformers, Janis Lemle and James Perry ran what Adrastos charitably refers to as "lackluster" campaigns. To me, it looked more like the purpose of these campaigns (especially the Perry campaign) was more about raising the candidate's cred within the smallish enlightened reform-y echo-chamber rather than actually bringing that message to voters. And that's really their point anyway. As long as the enlightened reform-y types all recognize them, who really cares about what happens to the rest of us?

And no, I don't mean that these candidates should have tempered their platforms. I mean they didn't care that anyone outside of their self-selecting circles of enlightened people got an opportunity to see those platforms.

Same air, new mayor Same rain, new pain*

Ladies aaaand gentleman and various persons of alternative genders, we are pleased to introduce to you your 2009-2010 Mayoral contestants in their first public appearance since getting the band together. We hope you enjoy this permutation of the group since it includes the pop diva stylings of Leslie Jacobs who we aren't sure is too keen on sticking with the project much longer.

Anyway the kids got together with veteran producer Norman Robinson last night to cut their first record which you can check out here. You may have to restart a few tracks more than once to get them to play properly. I blame the DRM. Here's a quick review.

Thematically, The Candidates don't take too many chances. Mostly they banged out industry standards like LEADERSHIP, ACCOUNTABILITY, PUBLIC SAFETY, and TRANSPARENCY although at times it appeared that some of the bandmates were trying to drive the material in a more experimental direction (POT and AMISH PEOPLE). It isn't clear which way these kinds of creative conflicts will eventually pull the group, but it's enough to keep us listening... for now.

Lyrically, The Candidates displayed a tendency toward stream-of-consciousness with, well, mixed (and sometimes confusing) results. For example, here's Leslie Jacobs on CRIME.

"There is no reason New Orleans has the crime rate it does"

Sounds enticingly mysterious but we're not exactly sure what it means. Especially when a few minutes later she busted out this line

"It is very important that we engage our non-profits, our churches, people sitting on the stoops, in partnering with us in crime"

Is Leslie Jacobs really looking for partners in crime? It would be a bit of a departure for her since the rest of her work here seems decidedly un-gangsta.

On the same cut, Nadine Ramsey briefly appears to confuse CRIME with AFGHANISTAN as she suggests what we need is "a long-term commitment". After that, she starts free-styling

"So it has to be that we listen to our neighborhoods. That we take into place with the police department what the neighborhoods are doing to make their lives better."

No idea what that means. We're checking with the record label to find out if either Sarah Palin or Miss Teen South Carolina wrote any of Ramsey's material for her. We're pretty sure she wasn't lip-synching.

Jerry Jacobs (noted sidekick of bandmate John Georges) cultivates an edgy image and adds something to the band's look with his unusual black bowler hat. His riff on CRIME, "Legalize it!" is unabashedly pro-weed. He plays the rebel quite effectively but almost takes it too far in his deadpan antagonism of Robinson. During RACE, Norman tries to lead Jacobs back to familiar territory giving him an opportunity to suggest that more pot smoking will bring blacks and whites together. But Jacobs bucks his producer with a humorless, "If it would not hurt my political image I would laugh with you" The obvious tension there clearly marks Jerry Jacobs as the "bad boy" of the group.

Troy Henry dabbles in Yoko Ono-esque conceptual art as he describes to us his vision of a "5 legged stool" It's a bit strange, given his engineering background that Henry would choose to add two more legs than most folks will tell you are necessary. Perhaps he's favoring stability over efficiency... or maybe it's just poetic license. Anyway, Henry, in somewhat unorthodox verbiage, describes the legs of his stool as 1) "Reengineering of city government" 2)"addressing the crime problem proactively as well as on an enforcement standpoint" 3)"infrastructure" 4) "economic development" 5)"around housing and blight" Because 5 Legged Stool presents some fairly mainstream concepts in a slightly new format, it has potential to be a sleeper hit for the group.

Meanwhile, the label is pushing frontman Mitch Landrieu's new single. The hook, "I know what to do and I know how to do it" is classic Mitch. Its compound structure recalls, perhaps too well, his 2006 hit, "We only get one chance and our margin for error is zero" The trouble there is that fans of the former tune are hoping these days that those words weren't as prophetic as they once sounded. Most of us hope to God at this point that he was wrong on both of those counts since there have been many errors and we would very much like another chance. And if no one wants to believe the old line any more, how much credibility does this new one really have? On the other hand, Mitch proposes to focus on 3 things (crime, jobs, and schools) which at least makes a more sensible stool than Henry's so maybe he's got something left in the tank after all.

Also recycling some of his older material is Manny "Chevrolet" Bruno as he reprises his 2006 anthem, "Let the Amish Come to Remove Our Blight". If you've seen Bruno's act before, there isn't anything new to get excited about but his timing and polish are as reliable as ever. He adds a touch of the soulful philosopher to an otherwise bubble-gum ensemble.

Ed Murray's "Mayor's Office of Education" sounds a bit ominous, particularly among fans of TRANSPARENCY and ACCOUNTABILITY but after a few listens is far more appealing than Leslie Jacobs' cover of EDUCATION which has been criticized for its confounding lack of FAIRNESS.

So there's some promise with this bunch but there also are some major problems. One thing that certainly needs work is The Candidates' sloppy stage show. Leslie Jacobs seems unable to perform without gripping and twisting her own fingers distractingly while Nadine Ramsey sways rhythmlessly in mid solo. And for God's sake, won't somebody do something about Ed Murray's blinking habit? He's never going to connect with an audience that way.

A few of the tracks should have been cut altogether. Georges' "You need a leader who can come up with a plan to find the bright people to lead us" doesn't seem to go anywhere. Troy Henry actually belted out "I believe the children are our future" at one point. Surely Norman should have known better than to let that onto the final mix.

Speaking of Robinson, his work here is also hit-or-miss. He badly misdirects new talent Thomas Lambert who at one point is asked by Norman how he would "tackle transparency" which sounds really difficult. Lambert also is completely unprepared when Norman asks him to riff on Charity Hospital.

Norman chooses to ask The Candidates "How would you generate revenue for the city's economy?" which is a nonsense query they all struggle with (particularly Ramsey, "We need to see whether or not there are any millages or any other revenue sources that are out there that we can pull in" and Lambert, "I'm sure there's enough Federal money laying around here to fix all these problems"). He also puts them through a pair of poorly worded and dubiously relevant questions about tax revenue and bonded indebtedness that just end up making everybody sound bad.

But the absolute lowlight of the entire release is Jonah Bascle. The advance publicity bills Bascle as a "comedian" but he's actually just a smug, unfunny asshole. If he wanted to segue from "accessible streetcars" on St. Charles Ave (The St. Charles line pre-dates ADA and is on the National Register of Historic Places) to "TRANSPARENCY" at City Hall, he could have suggested moving City Hall to a red streetcar. That would have been closer to funny than what he's doing which is basically just hoping people think it's cute that he's running. It's not... unless you're funny. Nadine Ramsey comes accross as an unintelligible moron. At least that's funny. Bascle is just a smug douche whose only shtick is that he thinks it's adorable that he's even running. It isn't, and the gag doesn't work especially when contrasted with Bruno's superior execution of a similar genre.

Maybe without the superfluous Lambert and the cloying frat-prank of Bascle, the group will be able to put out some entertaining work. The Candidates 2010 project will be on tour all month and into Carnival.


*Because this post is musically themed the title comes from a song called People In Honey performed by our favorite NOLA rock band.

Insinuations of the past

James Perry press release this afternoon:

I decided to run for Mayor because I believed that New Orleans' best days are ahead of her," said Perry. "But for us to realize that future, we must seize the opportunity to break free from the politicians and the politics of the past that have held our city back for so long. We must look forward, not backward for the leadership our city so desperately needs.

Ray Nagin in 2006:

That Monday night at the debate, Mr. Nagin made a veiled reference to what is at the back of some whites' minds here: the Landrieu and Morial clans are too close to each other. "I don't come from a political family or organization," he said. "Do we want to go back to the politics of the past?" The old Morial political organization has endorsed Mr. Landrieu.

Because, you see, Ray Nagin offered us a style of leadership which represented a break with "the politics of the past". James Perry liked it so much that he now "must seize the opportunity" to offer it to us again. Well done, Perry.

I'm a f*#!%ing Eagle Scout, bra

One more thing about that Perry ad. Does anyone else notice the comic dissonance between the (implied) cursing and Perry's touting of the fact that he is an "Eagle Scout"? Are they even allowed to curse? Does this sound like a Ballzack lyric to you?

Update: As the commenters are pointing out, Donze made this point in the linked article.

It's not until then that Perry appears. During his few seconds on camera, Perry utters no potty-mouth words, but he does inform viewers: "I'm an Eagle Scout who's run two nonprofits." Whether or not the irony was intended is unclear.

Upperdate: Here's something Donze didn't write. From my point of view, the best bit of comedy to come out of Morgan's Gambit conversation is the bit where he explains the bleeped words,

it’s bleeped out and the mouths are pixelated, so they could be saying anything.

“They could be saying ‘Jeff!’,” Morgan added helpfully.

Seriously, What the Jeff! I want this on a T-shirt.

Deep Thought

James Perry is the Ron Paul of the 2010 Mayoral campaign. Tremendous appeal to a highly committed circle of goofballs and pseudo-intellectuals who play on the internet a lot. Which means he's got a lock on about 2.5% of the vote.

Not good, Perry

WWLTV:

The Labor Day picnic for the AFL-CIO often signals the start to the political season.

“Summer's over, kids are back in school, people are starting to look at both football and politics in this country and Louisiana,” said longtime political consultant Ron Nabonne.

But Nabonne said this has been a strange and slow start to next February's mayoral race.

Only two announced mayoral candidates tried to line up early votes at City Park on Monday: State Rep. Austin Badon, D-New Orleans, and state Sen. Ed Murray, D-New Orleans.

Wait. I thought the third "announced candidate" in this race was a young "Progressive" with an interest in social justice and change and all that stuff. At least that's what a bunch of people keep posting on his Facebook page anyway. One would think a guy like that would pretty much own the AFL-CIO Labor Day event. Where was Master Perry, then?

Attorney James Perry has already announced he is running, but told Eyewitness News he wouldn't be campaigning Monday, instead spending the day with his family.

Dude, seriously, even John Georges was there and he's not even in the race yet. Perry, it seems, is still trying to run an entire mayoral campaign from inside the Tweeter Tube. Why is that? Is he grounded? Does he have Swine Flu? Even in the age of the internets, a successful candidate for office will have mastered the mysterious political arts of going outside and talking to people. If he's not going to come out now, he surely can't expect anyone to come out for him on election day.

I've been informed that Twitter is back up

Guess this means that James Perry won't be dropping out of the Mayor's race after all.