Anyway we've got mixed feelings about the sudden and unceremonious demise of Hank Williams Jr.'s career as America's Football Preparedness Herald. Of course we hate that song. We've always hated that song, and we've long dreamed of the day when the long stinging pain of that song would be gone from our lives forever. Why just a week prior to this mess we had played a little game with ourselves where we tried to guess the exact right time to change the channel to Monday Night Football so that we'd come in just after the song but before kickoff. We waited 10 whole minutes past the scheduled air time of MNF, flipped the channel and then, dammit, there was Hank screaming and mocking us again. This wasn't actually the first time we'd played that game and lost but now that we know it will be the last we're wondering if we won't miss it a little.
Plus if you're gonna dump Hank, don't do it because of his idiotic political opinions. For one thing, it isn't like anyone is surprised by them. For another, nobody cares. More importantly, though, because he wasn't fired specifically because the song is stupid, that just leaves the door open for any possibly worse, even completely unnecessary to football broadcasting musical number to replace it. WIST's Sports Hangover has been throwing the name Rebecca Black around just to give you an idea. But we're pretty sure there are even worse possibilities out there and ESPN has the resources to find them. Also, too, as well, what's wrong with just this, anyway? Either way we're not too worried about Bocephus. He's a country boy. He'll survive.
But just to add a bit of perspective here Williams was let go because during one brief and pointless FOX News segment he shared with us a whiskey-soaked fantasy of his about a hypothetical golf game between Bibi Netanyahu and Adolf Hitler. Meanwhile, this week, Tom Benson was allowed to pin the name of Mercedes Benz onto the state-owned building where his football team sometimes plays. The Daimler-Benz company may not know much about imaginary golf, but it does have a history of its own with Adolf Hitler.
''Leading managers of Daimler-Benz lent valuable assistance to the National Socialists before Hitler became Chancellor in 1933,'' Mr. Bellon writes. ''The corporation even claimed that it was responsible for 'helping to motorize the movement.' '' One way the company aided Hitler's party was to take out large advertisements as early as 1931 in the Nazi newspaper, the Volkischer Beobachter, known for its virulent propaganda and anti-Semitic ti-rades.The author believes that the ads may have been part of a quid pro quo arrangement under which Daimler-Benz cars were given or lent to Hitler and his party's officials.
Benz went on to produce war materiale for the Nazis including trucks, parts, tanks, and aircraft engines much of which was built through forced labor by Jews in concentration camps.
Now we're not saying that Daimler-Benz's history as a Nazi-owned company who forced slaves to build instruments of war which Hitler used to kill American soldiers maybe is still so relevant that it means 60 years after the fact the modern iteration of that company can't now be associated in a small and irrelevant way with the presentation of an American sporting event. We're just wondering if maybe Hank Williams' war crimes merit the more severe rebuke they've drawn.
Saints vs Jaguars: (Jaguar being a luxury car of British origins who we don't think ever collaborated with the Nazis but admittedly haven't checked)
- How this game was won: Blaine Gabbert is just plain not good. The Saints got off to a good start in this one but then let Jacksonville hang around and kind of edge back into the game almost by accident. It isn't difficult to imagine the Jaguars managing to steal the game except for the fact that their quarterback Blaine Gabbert played so horribly in the second half.
Saints players and coaches expressed their surprise afterwards that Gabbert figured as prominently in the Jags' game plan as he did. The Saints had expected to see more of Maurice Jones-Drew early on but instead Gabbert came out throwing.
The ploy kind of worked for a time. But in football, the fact that something is mildly surprising, does not mean it's actually a winning strategy. Of Gabbert's 196 yards passing, 165 of them came during the first half. As the game went on, and the Saints realized Jacksonville was serious about wanting to beat them with Gabbert, things went less well. During one second half stretch, Gabbert threw 10 consecutive incomplete passes and was picked off by Patrick Robinson.
When Jacksonville went for a 4th and 2 late in the 3rd quarter and decided to put the ball in Gabbert's hands instead of Jones-Drew's, we knew the game was pretty much over then and there.
Also, this year's popular Twitter theory shared by @saintsnola, @nolarr, and others among us holds that an NFL quarterback's probability of success is inversely proportional to his resemblance to a stereotypical date rapist. Gabbert is a near perfect example.
NFL QB? or scene from The Karate Kid? - It's been fun index:
Darren Sproles vs Jacksonville: 7 carries 75 yards, 5 receptions 56 yards, 1 punt return 8 yards, 2 kickoff returns 48 yards
TOTAL 188 all purpose yards
Reggie Bush vs San Diego: 13 carries 50 yards, 2 receptions 15 yards
TOTAL 65 all-purpose yards
On the season now that's an NFL-leading 716 all-purpose yards and 3 touchdowns for "Tank" Sproles and 228 all-purpose yards and 2 fumbles for Bush. Keeping track of this is starting to get a little boring, right? Well not quite yet.
For one thing, we always wanted a player with the nickname "Tank." (No not a Benz tank. Then we'd have to call him "Panzer") It gives us an excuse to embed more Bob in the game re-caps. - Diners, Drive-ins, and Diving to the Ground Index:
Last week, Panthers' tight end Jeremey Shockey caught 2 passes for 41 yards. Once again he scored zero touchdowns which keeps him at zero on the season tied with whatever back-up Saints tackle might happen to catch a pass in the endzone at any point this season.
Meanwhile, we keep saying this statistic isn't about Jimmy Graham but let's look at his numbers anyway.
Graham's 10 receptions 132 yards 1 TD was the second best receiving day for a Saints tight end... ever.It's been a long time since a Saints tight end had as prolific a day. His career-high catch and yardage totals ranked among the best efforts in club history. In fact, only one Saints tight end has ever had a more productive day, and that came 31 years ago when Henry Childs had 144 yards in a 38-35 loss to the 49ers on Dec. 7, 1980.
After four games Graham is on pace for 96 receptions which would best Shockey's career high of 74. Sproles and Graham are what the Saints thought Bush and Shockey would be when they were acquired. Their success where their predecessors' disappointed has been the story of the first quarter of the 2011 season.
One more fun fact: This season so far, Saints fullback Jed Collins has more touchdowns than Bush and Shockey combined. - Uh oh the kicker sucks: One of the reasons the Saints had trouble putting the Jaguars away was the trouble they had in the "red zone" caused them to settle for more field goal attempts than we're accustomed to watching. Another reason is when the Saints were in long-ish field goal range, John Kasay blew it twice. We may have to re-open our file on cursed jersey #2.
Starting to worry about this again - Other uniform-related facts: The Saints have won 9 consecutive games in black jersies and gold pants. Through the first four games, they've put up a 3-1 record including a not-all-that-discouraging loss to the defending Superbowl champion. They've also yet to break out the awful black pants this year. Let's keep that going.
- Difficult to see trend: Despite some deceptive numbers, the Saints' defense has had difficulty these past few games getting off the field in big 3rd and long situations. Jacksonville only actually converted 4 out of 15 3rd downs last week but the ones they did turn over were particularly embarrassing and had a significant impact on the game.
For example let's look at the Jaguars' first scoring drive in the second quarter. The situation is this. The Saints have just taken a 14-0 lead by finishing a 96 yard drive with a touchdown pass to Jimmy Graham. If the Jags sputter on this next opportunity, the game could get out of hand. They move the ball almost to midfield before a Roman Harper sack sets up a 3rd and 20. This is obviously the biggest play of the game to this point. And the Saints' defense screws it up big time allowing a completed pass plus a facemask penalty setting Jacksonville up First and 10 on the Saints' 30. A few plays (including another 3rd and long conversion) later, Jacksonville scores and suddenly it's a game again.
There was a similar pattern during the Texans game as well. The percentages might not show it but, for some reason, big game changing plays seem to come against the Saints' defense on 3rd and long. Just something to keep an eye on. - Off and running? If you're a bit of an X and O geek you may enjoy Ben Muth's columns at Football Outsiders breaking down the Saints' offensive line play this season. This week Muth was impressed with the running game which shouldn't be too much of a surprise. But he also pointed out some noteworthy flaws in the pass protection which he pins on Brian De La Puente and Charles Brown. It's worth a read but our two cents is this.
Yes, the Saints racked up good rushing numbers this week. But so much of that is sneaking Darren Sproles through on surprise tosses or draws that it's not exactly the sort of thing you can read as dominant line play. In fact the whole Saints' running game is based so much on stretch and draw type plays that the line spends more time stepping back and catching defenders than it does firing off the ball and hitting people even when the Saints aren't throwing the ball. That can make for some really bad football against an opponent who knows how to read your tricks. We liked to see Mark "Did Dug" Ingram burrow his way through for a first down in a late game short yardage situation but he got next to no help from his linemen on that play.
We're telling you he looks like Dig Dug This nickname will stick even if it kills us
Otherwise Muth is right. The pass protection has been bad so far. The sack Charles Brown allowed to stall the opening drive of the second half last week was particularly bad. - This week's Jordan Jefferson Try Not to Kick Anybody In the Face Award: Speaking of hits on the quarterback, Drew Brees was pounded into the turf by Jacksonville's Terrance Knighton well after the end of a play during the second half touching off a momentary scuffle on the field. Knighton was not flagged for the late hit and, we admit we haven't been paying much attention this week but we're not sure he's been fined after the fact. For all the whining Michael Vick did last week about being singled out by officials, Brees has a case of his own to make after the past two games.
Reiterating our apology from above, but that's all we got this week. One of these weeks we'll get this done right and it will be... well.. it will be a thing that happened. You'll see. Anyway we don't have any time to proofread this either so if you feel like picking out our typos, grammatical errors, and such in the comments go right ahead. Just don't be a big Nazi about it.
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