Beefy Mac is the new Juicyfruit

Note: The following was cut from one of the "lost" Yellow Blog Saints posts that never quite got finished these past two weeks. Meanwhile this just came out of the oven.



I'm calling it "Roast Beefy Mac" as I intend to heat it up and serve on pistolettes tomorrow as Roast Beefy Mac Po-Boys. It's not a disaster but could use some refinement. I think if I had added the tomatoes before I built the cheese sauce I could have cooked some of the excess water out of it. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Enjoy the game.


We've long understood that Drew Brees suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder. Athletics happens to be just the sort of profession that can channel this kind of illness productively. But make no mistake. It is certainly an illness. Here's Sean Payton describing Brees' symptomatic behavior.

We had a diversion this week where we were at a different hotel. We were at a JW Marriott. We’re never there. So typically the night before we play games, we have a certain snack and it’s always the same. It’s cheeseburgers, pizza, spaghetti, cold cuts, salad, there’s always this lasagna, and then there’s this beefy mac that Brees likes. It’s just beef and macaroni and I think there’s maybe a couple other people, but there’s not many that eat it. We get to the buffet on Saturday night and I’m there first. The players are still finishing up their individual meetings and I’m kind of hobbling through and looking at the food and there’s no beefy mac. There’s no lasagna which is what I like to eat, so I’m thinking there’s no chance of these guys getting a long-term deal with us. They don’t have Brees’ meal and they don’t have what I like. So I sit down and I’m eating the spaghetti and pizza and finally Drew comes in. I said, ‘We have a little issue here,’ and he asked, ‘What’s that?’ I said never mind and I watched him and he’s meandering around, so he goes on to plan B and he takes a hamburger patty and chops it up over spaghetti and tries to make this homemade beefy mac I guarantee you it was on the menu list that had to be prepared and they didn’t get it done. It’ll be the last time we’re there. I asked him if this has ever happened and he said it’s happened a couple other times.”

The only thing missing from this story is the part where the Beefymacless Brees, while "meandering around" the strange hotel, informs Payton of the exact number of minutes remaining until Wapner. Were this not Drew Brees and just some dude (Sean Canfield, for example) pacing madly until he gets his goulash, we wouldn't be complaining about the J.W. Marriott buffet staff right now. Instead we'd probably be asking some public library staff somewhere if we could have him removed for disturbing the other patrons.

But it is Drew Brees and Drew Brees threw five touchdowns vs 4 incomplete passes this past Sunday night so we're celebrating. Already we're swapping recipes while fantasizing about citywide Beefy Mac cookoffs, wondering if Jimmy Graham should be nicknamed Hamburger Helper. We actually floated that name on Twitter earlier and the Tweeps came back with "Grahamburgular" which is now our number one choice for a Halloween costume this year. (Barely displacing killer cantaloupe which is easy to conceptualize but not to construct.)

Anyway the really great news is that with Brees as a role model now maybe we can convince Jenny McCarthy that vaccinations might actually be a good thing after all. Oh and we get to throw in a reference to "Kraft Dinna"