Wednesday, March 02, 2005

What me busy?

Man things go from nothing to hyper-busy real quick like around here. Black History Month may be technically over, but that just means it's time for the rush of panicked reference questions from the parents of the students who did not turn in their reports or projects on time. The questions come from the parents, of course, because they're always the ones who actually end up doing the research anyway. Strike that. It's the parents who expect us to do the research for them so they can do their children's late homework. Does that paint the picture for you?
Meanwhile our branch is hosting one of our most high profile events of the year. It's a six week family reading program funded by the Louisiana Endowment for the Humanities and which always generates a great deal of interest. Daisy and I are very much involved in the production of the program and it usually manages to hold most of our attention during its season.
Also we're getting ready for Summer Reading Club. Last week, we attended a predictably gay workshop in pursuit of this end. Details will be forthcoming.
Add to that, the fact that Daisy has us working on a grant proposal due at the end of the month and things almost seem like actual work @ your liberry.
It has gotten so bad that I'm actually starting to have work related dreams. The other day, I dreamt I had to design a survey to be handed out to children who participate in summer reading club this year. The residue of the imaginary assignment settled in my mind as I brushed my teeth and pulled my work clothes off the pile on the floor. I began to imagine what such a survey might look like. Here's what I've got so far.

1) While ostensibly about promoting reading during the non school months, most of the programs you will be attending this Summer exist solely to provide your parents with someplace to dump you while they work two jobs each just to earn enough money to feed your fat ass. List three other ways in which your selfishness hurts others.

2) Your burdensome existence has not only led directly to the ruination of your parents' marriage but has also scared away your mother's last four boyfriends. Write a short essay in which you describe five actions you can take to make yourself less visible while mom attempts to restore her shattered social life.

3) You find that you are starting to like girls. This fills you with shame because:
a) It provides you with a new dimension by which you can measure your staggering failures.
b) You are a girl.
c) You have spent the first 10-12 years of your life declaiming the female gender as "gross" and "cootie-ridden". These new feelings of yours expose the first of your certain to be legion of hypocrisies. Welcome to adulthood.

No comments: