BRAINS!

Happy Saturday!.. night... or possibly early Sunday morning... whenever this post gets up eventually. Much like the Saints' offense we've had difficulty getting the momentum going for the recap post each week. The pieces are all there but they don't quite come together. Like the Saints, we've been kind of sliding by on just good enough but not really blowing anybody away. We know the Uptown Ladies are starting to get nervous. Give us a little more time to and we'll get it straight. Or maybe we'll cut the kicker again a few more times first.

The idea this week was to start with a long boring lecture on hipppie bicycling advocates and their diabolical scheme to ruin the best way to get around New Orleans through over-regulation and unnecessary traffic striping. But this afternoon I find that I'm not really in the mood for all of that. Instead, since it's almost Halloween, and since Les Miles is about take the field again in about half an hour, I'd like to talk about brains.


Actual photo of Miles' brain. Yeah, he just leaves it laying around like that sometimes.

There's been a lot of talk about brains and football lately.

How serious is a brain injury?

METAIRIE, La. ― The Saints put cornerback Randall Gay on injured reserve after the veteran defensive back continued to suffer from symptoms associated with a concussion.

What are the long term effects of one?

NEW ORLEANS -- Former Saints offensive tackle Kyle Turley knows about concussions all too well, but he doesn't know what exactly the long-term effects of repeated concussions are. So he's lending his mind and his body to the cause, now and later.

Turley is one of 300 current and retired athletes who have volunteered to join a Boston University medical school program to be the subjects of research into the problem.

Along with the others, Turley will undergo a battery of annual tests and has agreed to donate his brain to medical science for further research after his death.

What is the proper way to prevent them from happening? Actually that one's kind of complicated since the NFL has announced it will begin imposing heavy fines and suspensions on players for violations of its "helmet-to-helmet" hit rule. Most observers understand this to mean a crack down on any hit the league office might subjectively deem unnecessarily vicious. Some players, like former Saint and visiting Cleveland Brown Scott Fujita sees a tinge of hypocrisy in the league's stance.

"The same league that's talking about fining players for these hits and talking about maybe now suspending players for these hits who pretends to care so much about our health and safety, let's be honest," Fujita said. "They don't give a crap. Let's be perfectly honest about that.

"Eighteen games is asking a lot. And 18 games now without even a discussion about changing the vesting requirements for post-career medical. It's pretty astonishing. Another thing, too. This league is talking so much about these big hits and how they're trying to prevent that and protect the players. Well these are the same big hits they're showing around the clock on every [channel], NFL Network and everything else and trying to get everyone hyped up about the game of football.

"Well why are you advertising all of this stuff if it's against the rules? Same thing with some of these celebration penalties and everything else. They're fining guys like crazy for it and calling penalties, but that's the stuff they use to promote their games. So to me, it's kind of a weird deal. They need to get on the same page and figure out exactly what they need to do."

So not only do we not know how badly football players are treating their brains, we're still not even sure the NFL cares about that.

My advice here is, if you have to bring your brain to a football game, it's probably a good idea to keep it protected. But even when you're away from the stadium, you're not entirely safe from football player inflicted brain injury. Especially if you happen to be near any player holding a beer bottle.

Oh, by the way, here's an update on that LSU game that was about to start when I began typing this section and has just ended. The recap goes like this. LSU down by 7 faces a 4th and 6 deep in their own territory. The clock shows 3:27 remaining and LSU has 3 timeouts. Miles should probably punt here but I guess he might go for it because, you know, it's what he does. But either way at least he'll have those three timeouts to... WAIT TIMEOUT RIGHT NOW! Miles burns one because, obviously, it's Jello break time. The team comes to the sideline, meets with the coach, and returns to the field to run their fourth down play. Naturally they have no idea where to line up or what to do. People shift randomly for a few anxious seconds, the ball is snapped just because. Jarrett Lee runs for his life and doesn't make the first. Game over. In spite of all the trouble over saving people's brains, Les Miles' probably isn't even worth it.

So anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, these Saints games.

• Well, first of all, congratulations to Joe Horn on his induction to the Saints Hall of Fame. Horn is the Saints' all-time leader in touchdown receptions and in 3rd person self-references. Earlier this year, Ros and I caught the "Madden Gras" parade downtown which commemorated the launch of a video game which seemed really important at the time. Joe Horn was there. She got to kiss him.
  
  



• It's the year of the bounce pass A day after Les Miles' insane luck beat Florida by virtue of a no look backwards flip of a ball which skipped off one hop into the hands of a kicker who ran for a first down, the Saints were done in at Arizona by (among other things) more balls bounced advantageously off the turf. Cardinals quarterback Max Hall skipped one fumble to tackle Levi Brown who scooped it up for a touchdown which evened the score at 10-10 in the second quarter. In the third quarter Hall managed to turn a sack into a drive sustaining five yard gain by bounce passing to guard Alan Faneca. The drive ended in a field goal again tieing the game at 13. Later the Cardinals would open their largest lead when Ladell Betts bounced a ball to Arizona defensive back Kerry Rhodes who returned it 21 yards for a touchdown. If ever there were a day to pull out the "ball didn't bounce the Saints' way" line, this was it.
  
  
  There must be some sort of trick to this



• Ironbutt arrives Good to see Chris Ivory start to hit his stride. The Saints' running game showed signs of improvement at Arizona but really took off against Tampa Bay where the Saints just dominated the line of scrimmage. Ironbutt led the way with 158 yards on 15 carries (HOLFUCKINGSHIT). The Saints who were at the bottom of the league in rushing statistics two weeks ago have leaped to the middle of the pack. When Ivory isn't dropping the football, we do like to watch him run. This dude gets the ball and immediately starts looking for someone to hit. Imagine if they allowed him to carry a bottle with him down there. While their top two backs are our with injury, the Saints are learning they've got someone else they might be able to rely on. And this isn't the only position where that's happening.
  



• Malcolm Jenkins arrives Jenkins hasn't exactly been Darren Sharper 2009 at free safety this season, and he may, in fact, be a "no-catching motherfucker", but he does have the look of a guy who is coming into his own a bit. Against Tampa, Jenkins was around more balls in the air than he has been all season. He's still not picking them off but he's getting to them more.
  
  He's also not too shy a tackler either. Jenkins was second on the team with 6 vs Tampa including a key play during what was nearly a shut-out preserving goal line stand in the fourth quarter. I thought the controversial double personal foul call against Jenkins was suspect as well. If anything one of those should have gone against Josh Freeman for starting the after-the-whistle shoving and also just generally looking like a Cabbage Patch Kid. Gregg Williams is saying the late hit might actually be his fault for.. I guess.. preparing his players to play defense. But the NFL doesn't see it that way. I'm sure they'll tell you they're just protecting precious brains.. however incompetently.
  
  Anyway I just read that Darren Sharper will be activated for this week's game. But I'm unsure if he really ought to be the starter over Jenkins right now.
  
  
  
  
  Seriously, though. Right?
  



• Congratulations to Drew and Brittany Brees on the birth of their second child, Beefsteak or Bowstaff, or something. This obsession with the coming of the second Brees child has been embarrassing enough already. But earlier this week, as we sat around the Tweeter Tube anxiously awaiting news of the birth, I was struck with even more embarrassment for myself and for all Saints fans that neither I nor any of us had taken advantage of the opportunity to comment on games this season from a fake @Breesbaby or @Breesusfetus or something similar Twitter account. Maybe it was too obvious.
  
  Anyway so not five minutes after I lamented our oversight, somebody decided to take advantage of whatever time we had left until the arrival of the actual person made the joke less funny. And so @Babybrees was born. Here are some things I got to say to or about @Babybrees that night before the joke did in fact wear out.
  
  

  @Babybrees has just been suspended by Commissioner Goodell for leading with the head.

  
  
  

  Les Miles just asked where @Babybreeses come from. Thought they were delivered by magic referees after time has expired.
  

  
  
  

  Still no word on @babybrees @FletcherMackel seen poking around area mangers disguised as a Wise Man #notfoolinganyone

  
  
  

  Can we all just agree right now that @Babybrees is NOT being born in Kenya?

  
  
  

  Bank of America has hired @Babybrees to sign foreclosure notices. Actually hired 7 months ago.

  
  
  

  I'll admit it is more than a little fishy that @babybrees was already admitted to a Gretna magnet school.

  
  
  But now that the kid has been delivered and named and hired on as a placekicking consultant, all that fun is over with. We're gonna need something new to distract us. How about @ChrisIvory'sbottle?
  
  



• Uh oh the kicker sucks 46 Year Old John Carney was brought in after perpetual head case Garrett Hartley exhibited an inexcusable inability to convert a 29 yard field goal attempt in a crucial situation. In Arizona, Carney exhibited an inexcusable inability to convert a 29 yard field goal attempt in a crucial situation. And so Carney is gone, Hartley is back from vacation, and Sean Payton is all fine with everything. In an era of general placekicking suckery the Saints are far from the only team with problems. Leaguewide field goal percentage at .797 is a seven year low. I'm trying to think of a way to make that fact reassuring but not quite getting there.
  
  46 Year Old John Carney prepares to take all of his balls and go home. Hartley looks like he could just kick something... if only someone would let him



• Uh oh the other kicker is Snidely Whiplash Speaking of sucky placekicking, Tampa Bay kicker Connor Barth had quite a day himself last week. Barth not only bounced two field goal attempts off the upright, but he also exposed the FOX television audience to his interesting facial hair. After his second miss, Barth was spotted on the sideline twirling his handlebar mustache in the manner of a cartoon villain. I got a text message asking if Barth had a "damsel tied to a railroad track somewhere". Maybe he should have tied her to goalpost.



• Just here to pick up my check While kickers are having a hard time around the NFL lately, punting is currently in the throes of a golden age and the Saints have one of its leading lights. Thomas Morstead currently leads all NFC punters in yards per kick total (46.9) as well as net (42.2). In three of the Saints' first six games, Morstead's punts have been fumbled, muffed, or ricocheted off of opposing return men resulting in huge game-changing turnovers. The guy makes things happen.
  
  Why is it, then, that coach Payton has, in recent weeks, contrived ways to take the ball out of the hands (and off of the feet) of one of his best players? During the place-kicking shuffling Morstead was replaced as holder by backup quarterback Chase Daniel(s). No explanation for the move was given, although Hartley has sounded less than pleased with it. When asked about the hold on his 33 yard miss against Tampa, Hartley didn't rule it out as possible factor. Payton has also inexplicably taken the kickoff duties away from Morstead and handed them over to Hartley. Against Tampa, none of Hartley's kickoffs made it to the endzone. The only action Morstead saw all day against the Bucs was his one punt during the fourth quarter. It was a very nice punt which traveled 46 yards before being downed at the 12.
  
  Now we understand that fewer punts probably means thing are going better for the team overall. For example, Cleveland's Reggie Hodges enters this week's game leading the AFC in number of punts attempted. But there are certain situations where we know Morstead can help and he isn't being allowed the opportunity to do so. Late in the Arizona game, the Saints lined up to attempt an onside kick. Saints fans might remember Morstead having some success executing this maneuver in.. one of those games last season. In Arizona, Payton handed the job over to Carney. Why?
  
  THOMAS MORSTEAD NOT PICTURED



• Also just here to pick up my check The Saints offense broke out and hung 31 points on the Bucs. Devery Henderson did not participate for some reason. Has anyone seen him?
  
  DEVERY HENDERSON NOT PICTURED
  

Aaaand that's all we got this week. I know we're not there yet. We're still a bit late but we're starting to feel it a bit. The Yellow Blog 2010 is the Chris Ivory of football blogging. Don't give up on us just because we dropped a few early on. It will be good to get back in the Dome tomorrow afternoon. I guess we're bringing our brains with us but we'll try not to beat them against the wall too much. Gotta save that for next week while we're putting off the next re-cap.