Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wednessday: Saints game/weekend induced haze lifts; Prepare for next Saints game/weekend induced haze

Prior to Saturday night, if there was one thing I had learned in my 32 years; one rock solid maxim I could always cling to for guidance, it had to be this: "alcohol makes everything better". And I mean everything. It makes the crowd at a sporting event louder. It makes strangers more convivial, sex less guilt-ridden, driving less boring. If you work in the service industry, alcohol can help you hate the customers slightly less... or grant you the courage to deliver much deserved violence upon them. It relieves stress on a first date, or during a traffic court appearance.. or during grad school entry testing. And yet, for the first time I can almost admit that this.. the only ironclad law of existence.. very nearly let me down. For once in my life I can truthfully admit that alcohol almost ruined a moment for me. Who could have foreseen that the experience of what has got to be one of the towering achievements of my life to this point (watching a football game) could be diminished to some degree by my being utterly wasted. And yet it very nearly happened.

As the Saints' one-armed quarterback, Drew Brees was kneeling out what remained of the clock in a rollicking 27-24 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles, Saints fans turned and hugged one another.. some cried.. some shouted for joy over the fact that the team was now improbably one win away from a Super Bowl berth. But through all of this.. I could not get the following thought out of my mind which I verbalized for the edification of those around me for the next five minutes, "Sweet Jesus I hate Reggie Bush!" Were it not for the spectacular-but-largely-pointless former USC golden boy who is supposed to be a running back but mostly plays wideout and who more often than not runs backwards when given the ball, the last few minutes of the game would not have been as harrowing as they were for Saints fans.. particularly the more inebriated among them. Bush did something inexcusable. He dropped the ball at the worst possible time. While the Saints were in position to finish the game strongly and end what was already a back-and-forth emotional affair, Bush's unbelievable fumble opened the door for more intense and wholly unnecessary nail biting long past the point in the game where nail biting had ceased to be fun. I resent Reggie Bush for nearly ruining an otherwise beautiful moment but I am happy to report that two things snapped me out of my gloom and helped me to step back and realize that there were indeed glorious wonders about that night. One was, of course, more alcohol. The other was a pleasing memory from the first quarter.

Kind of makes you glad to be alive doesn't it?

More liquor-soaked observations:

  • Do we really have to say anything other than DEUCE? There have been moments during this season when I've wondered if Soupy realized who his offensive MVP really was. This was not the case on Saturday. McAllister just put on a show. That five yard touchdown run where he carried the other 21 people on the field with him into the endzone will stay with us for long time... maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen on a football field.

    Saints fans can't wait to see Brian Urlacher get a face full of this

  • Who else has fearful visions of Fred Thomas getting burned deep by the Bears' Bernard Berrian the same way he was by (gasp!) Donte freaking Stallworth on Saturday. Thomas remains a fan favorite who has played some very good football for the Saints in the past... but this year he has been torched repeatedly for big plays. Fitch N Dar Dar has often speculated that Thomas may be playing hurt. I think he might be done. The Saints' D also gave up another big play on the ground. It's worrisome.. but they've made it this far with a less-than-perfect defense soo..

    Jesus, Fred.. I know it's hard but why did you have to let that guy beat you?

  • This also means.. Yep, Playoff TD Tally: Stallworth 1 Colston 0 Stings a bit.. but Colston gets to play some more. Plus he should have had that Hail Mary before the half. Hmmm.. maybe they should have thrown the ball to Copper.

  • The staggering number of rookies contributing to the team's success this year was made more evident by punter, Steve Weatherford's mad dash for a first down. Good stuff.

  • We've always known that Fox management is oversexed and illiterate but well...

    Funny.. though that isn't even the best video from Saturday. This is:

    H/T: Humid Haney

Well I've got what I wanted now. I've been telling people that the Saints match up with the Bears better than they would have with the Seahawks. Now that the pairings are set.. this is starting to make me nervous. It would have been nice to have another home game but this is no longer the time to complain.

Meanwhile, local news has officially gone overboard. Yesterday WWL began its broadcast with this Angela Hill voice over: "How can the Saints' success help the city deal with its crime problem?" No that's really what she said. I don't know exactly what to make of this but I love the idea of a 70s era Saturday morning cartoon wherein the Saints fight crime and solve mysteries ala the Harlem Globetrotters. Can't you just see it? A raccoon-masked criminal emerges from a bank carrying the obligatory brown bag with a "$" printed on the side. He almost makes it to his getaway car when suddenly the cry rings out "Foojeetaaah!" The robber has been tackled and apprehended by Scott Fujita. Oh and see.. each Saint has like a special power. Hollis Thomas takes a "magic vitamin" to give him super strength. Reggie can fly.. but he can only fly backwards. Fred McAfee is the comic relief. Soupy offers guidance to the team from headquarters.. communicating with them via Joe Horn's phone. Trust me. It's a winner. I need a drink.

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