Sport report

This is, I guess, an homage to a  parody of a satirist doing a fake commentary about.... Look, it's B&G's Ryan putting in his application to write for Colbert.

Two years ago the New Orleans Saints were accused of an institution-run “bounty” program that allegedly paid big bonuses for injuring opponents. While the Saints were never found guilty on this claim, the initial penalties to Coach Sean Payton and the franchise stood, even though the player penalties were revoked under arbitration.¹

You may have gotten bored with these proceedings,² but I think this should become our new judicial model. It’s like getting charged with first degree murder, only being convicted of third degree manslaughter, but still getting the death penalty.³