Some tips for enjoying Carnival

I promise no ladder harangue today. At least I think. Let's see how it goes.

1. Do not plan anything. Wait. Okay number one is wrong already. Yes, plan. You'll need a plan of some sort just for the sake of comprehending certain logistics. Just don't expect those plans to work out the way you've conceptualized them. Have an idea where you'd like to be and how you'd like to get there. But don't be surprised as that plan falls apart piece by piece in the execution. The key is to be flexible. I'll explain what I mean.
   
   This past weekend, we had planned to take a taxi down to the quarter to see Krewe du Vieux. And although that plan was pretty much shot when Menckles ended up working later than she thought she would, we dutifully spent a good fifteen minutes hitting the redial button in a futile attempt to reach United Cab. Finally we just hopped in the Tercel and started drifting downtown. One of the many reasons I'm happy to live so near the Uptown parade route is that it minimizes the annual experience of crawling through solid traffic hoping to find a not-too-inconvenient parking space before the radiator explodes.
   
   When we eventually landed our craft, we found ourselves much farther downriver than we had planned to be... almost exactly right here, actually. And thank goodness we did because, as it turned out, Royal Street in the Bywater was the best place to catch KDV on this year's route. The crowd wasn't too dense and we were able to see the parade all nice and close-like.
   
   
   
   And all nice and close-like is THE way to see Krewe Du Vieux. It's the only way you're going to pick up on the themes of the small floats and costumes and the only way you're going to pick up any throws from the marchers. It may be a sign of our old age, but we've gotten to a point where we're actually friends with or acquaintances of a ridiculous number of KDV marchers some who deliver to us personalized trinkets. One Krewe member, for example, handed me a package which was supposed to have come from Jeremey Shockey. It contained a can of Axe body spray. My favorite throw was the below pictured "Ticket to Mardi Gras" handed out by the subkrewe of PAN this year. The gag even worked on Menckles who, for a while, thought we had KDV ball tickets and later tried to palm them off on other folks as such.
   
   
   
   
   Anyway, we'd staked out a killer spot this year, and had done so completely by accident.
   
   



2. If at all possible, BYOL. Because you don't want to spend too much time running back to the nearest bar or to the house for a refill, it helps to plan to drink on the street. One of our annual traditions is the embarrassingly un-manly mini-cooler I frequently carry around known affectionately as the Pink Thing (seen here at a parade in 2008). We haven't broken out the Pink Thing just yet this year. Instead, Menckles carried an insulated backpack with two bottles of white wine an as much beer as we could cram in there with it. We even brought our own portable wine glasses.
   
   
   
   What to do with the consumed liquor once it needs to be... um... deposited is another problem altogether, and, as we all know, just something else that demands flexibility on the part of the participant.



3. Be ready to do some walking. If you're doing anything worth doing during Carnival, you're doing it on foot. And probably you'll want to be more than one place on any given day or night so expect to cover a lot of ground that way.
   
   After KDV passed us by, we still had to get down to where we had planned to be in the first place. The only way to get there that made any sense was on foot. Because most humans walk faster than a parade generally moves, this meant we managed to catch much of the parade a second time while saying hi to Adrastos and Dr. A in front of the Royal Street Grocery, and then a third time when we finally caught up with the rest of our party at St. Peter Street.
   
   The cool thing about moving around like this, is it gives you the opportunity to sample the variation in experience that happens along a parade route. When we saw the parade in the Bywater, the mood was very laid back and familiar as the crowd was mostly comprised of neighbors with a lot of room to move around. When we got to Royal and St. Peter, the scene was a little more chaotic.
   
   
   
   The following day's Times-Picayune suggested that the crowds were thinner than usual this year. I saw a lot of the route that night and didn't get anything like that impression.
   
   Later on, due to the continued impossibility of obtaining a cab, we ended up schlepping the whole way back to the car. All told we put in about three and one quarter miles hiking around that night. Pretty tame, actually, especially considering the long rest at Johnny White's between the end of the parade and the walk back.
   
   



4. I know this one can be difficult but try not to ask "why" too too much. This strategy is particularly helpful once you've passed beyond the limits of sobriety and the scene around you gets a little too ridiculous to keep track of. For instance, why was the climax of Krewe Delusion a guy in a big pig mask? I never found out but look how cool.
   
   
   (This is Harry Shearer, right?)
   
   And, of course, nobody quite knows what explains the Noisician Coalition, but we nonetheless feel our evening was enriched by their presence.
   
   




5. Finally, and above all, remember Mardi Gras is a marathon, not a sprint. I think we hit the ground at too hard a pace this year since my hangover knocked the shit out of my Sunday. This week, as the parades start coming nearer one another, we won't have the luxury of a day to waste in recovery. The Friday night Oshun to Saturday afternoon Pontchartrain turnaround will give us a chance to work on our stride a bit. But getting up Sunday morning for Carrollton will be the real test.