The world that made Juicero

It is our world. The one we are living in. And it is the worst.

When we signed up to pump money into this juice company, it was because we thought drinking the juice would be a lot harder and more expensive. That was the selling point, because Silicon Valley is a stupid libertarian dystopia where investor-class vampires are the consumers and a regular person’s money is what they go shopping for. Easily opened bags of juice do not give these awful nightmare trash parasites a good bargain on the disposable income of credulous wellness-fad suckers; therefore easily opened bags of juice are a worse investment than bags of juice that are harder to open.

Everyone is laughing at the juice bag juicer. But the premise, that idiots will pay a premium for anything if you sell it to them in the right context, is one of our most cherished core values. Here, for example, is what was on sale in the "South Market District" (itself a crass marketing invention) just last Friday.