Pyonyang on Airline

Welcome to offseason 2015. The new propaganda campaign is rolling out on schedule.

Firstly you should know that Dear Leader is alive, well, and totally mentally competent. All attempts at contrary sedition have been gloriously quashed.

A New Orleans judge on Friday (May 29) refused to open his courtroom to the public for a trial to determine whether Saints and Pelicans owner Tom Benson is competent to control his own fortune.

Several news organizations challenged Orleans Parish Civil District Judge Kern Reese's decision to close proceedings while the 87-year-old and his jilted heirs struggle for control of the sports franchises and other assets.

A trial in the case, expected to include testimony from doctors who examined Benson, is slated to begin Monday.

During a hearing Friday, Reese said he respects all of the rights laid out in the Constitution, and the freedom of the press is not absolute.

The press is now free, however, to bask in the greatness of Dear Leader's image on display at the Great Palace built by the people in his honor on Airline Highway Drive.

So after pitching the idea of to General Manager Mickey Loomis, Payton had the team make a picture of owner Tom Benson to hang on the walls. The image of Benson holding the Lombardi Trophy after the Saints won Super Bowl XLIV was revealed Saturday overlooking the practice field.

“The guy who has meant the most to our organization and our success is Mr. Benson,” Payton said. “No one deservers that more. It is a simple but important gesture. We could not have had the success that we have enjoyed without Mr. Benson.”

Exactly! Dear Leader Kim Jong Tom has clearly been the centerpiece of our Great Victories. It is only proper that we celebrate his achievements with impressive works of public art.

 

But there is another lesson here. Dear Leader's legacy is always in peril of falling to enemies of the state.  We must take steps to preserve the revolution.  We must remind our citizens of the values that have made them great. We must constantly search for methods both subtle and overt to remind them to compete.

When players reported back for OTAs this week at the team training facility in Metairie, they were greeted by new street signs decorating their practice field, designating the land as "Compete Street."

"It is a point of emphasis of what you are looking for," head coach Sean Payton said.  "This offseason, we were talking about basketball and there are so many organized basketball leagues now whether it is AAU, your school league. There is that one element that you can all remember or some of you that are older can remember: when you were just playing and it was winner stays.  So think about how you played when it was 10-10 going to 11 and winner stays.  It was going to be your guy that scored because if you knew if you lost you weren't going to play the rest of the day, there were five other teams waiting.  That would be an example of just that level of competition, creating that sense of urgency and that desire not to let your teammates down if you will."

That's right. In order to understand "Compete Street" one must first visualize a basketball game where it's always "10-10 going to 11 and winner stays."  Luckily, we happy citizens are blessed with the presence and guidance of a man who is skilled in the ways of both football and basketball. And his name is Jimmy Graham Dear Leader Kim Jong Tom.



Lets us, then, "set up in larger numbers monumental structures in which the Juche character, national identity, originality, convenience and formative and artistic beauty form perfect harmony!"

Let us brilliantly inherit and develop the glorious revolutionary traditions of our Party!