A team of shushers

The city is trying to restart its plan for noise ordinance enforcement.. which we mustn't call enforcement even though they will be sending people out to tell you you are too loud.

The request is looking for a consultant to design the "Environmental Health Noise/Sound Program" and train a team to focus on "educating the community on the public health implications around excessive" sound and the rules and regulations in the noise ordinance.

The deadline for applications is Oct. 31.

I know you're thinking, why just send some librarians around town to shush everybody.  But you probably haven't been to a library lately. They are noisy places staffed by very loud people.

So who are they gonna hire?

At the same time, the health department is looking to hire a director for the still-to-be created program who will then hire people to make up the educational and enforcement team. The team will be tasked with enforcing the existing sound rules after a proposal for a new ordinance failed in the spring.

The total cost of the project is $250,000 and will come from the French Market Corporation's budget. Salaries will be determined by the price of the accepted bid.

Whoops, they said they're gonna enforce something. Although we don't know how many of them are gonna do that.  Maybe just one person... paid $250,000 to go around asking people to keep it down.  I think I'll send in that proposal.