Wednesday, February 23, 2011

How I learned to love spam

The NOLAinfo alert emails tend to fill one's inbox with bullshit on most days. Unnecessary PR releases from NOPD, recycled CNN headlines, obscure product recalls, that sort of thing. But they're worth having because every now and then one will tell you when and (approximately) where the next Serpas checkpoint will be set up. Also during Carnival they make an effort to remind people of the freaking rules. To wit, the following is excerpted from a multi-colored, large type email I received this week.

Remember the Neutral Ground (Median) is public property and it is illegal to “rope off” or barricade areas for private use.


If your children are in ladders, remember they must be placed as many feet behind the street curb as the ladder is high


In other words, this is the right way to position your ladder.

Ladders used properly


While shit like this, which we see all the damn time, Is wrong. This is actually wrong on both counts above as the ladders are not only too close to the curb but they are also bound together in such a way that they form a barrier to fellow parade goers who may wish to pass nearby.

Ladder citadel

Also notice,

Do not place ladders, ice chests, chairs, or other items in intersections. These areas must be kept clear to allow emergency vehicles access to the parade route if needed.


Which means these people are also doing it wrong.

Ladders in the intersection

What these rules are designed to do is reinforce the notion that the public streets are for everyone to share as they enjoy the parade together. This means being flexible, not territorial, and willing and able to give ground as the size and position of the crowd changes. If you're going outside to be with the people, be prepared to cooperate.

Personally I'd like to see this language amended to include a few words about portable chairs which, in recent years, have become a worse hindrance to freedom of movement than even the ladders. Take a look at this picture.

Chairs and ladders in the intersection

Blocking this intersection, we find not only two ladders but also a wall of chairs right up in the front of the crowd where they absolutely do not belong. Not only do they inhibit movement but they also reduce the number of people who can comfortably enjoy the parade in the space they occupy. This doesn't mean chairs are inappropriate altogether. Not everyone is young or strong enough to stand for hours at a time and there is plenty of room at the back of the crowd to set up some place to rest. But I'd venture to say that there are far more chairs in use out there than are necessary. And more importantly their inconsiderate use as territorial boundaries is hostile to everyone who has to step over or around them.

I can't imagine the NOLAinfo spam will beat any sense or courtesy into anyone but at least somebody is trying.

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