Shocking

Swine Flu really not that big of a deal

On Wednesday night, r and I were texting a running commentary on the Hornets' final FAIL in Denver (apparently I am a "David West apologist") when we got into the following swine flu aside.

r: Hoping to acquire liver disease and swine flu simultaneously. Or ummmmm... N191 or whatever the fuck we are supposed to call it so we all keep eating pork.

Me: People are so dumb. Even if we were in any danger, it wouldn't be from eating pork.

r: Well duh. I left work yesterday and ate three pork tacos from a hut in a gas station parking lot served by actual Mexicans as a protest. Fuck everyone.

By coincidence, I had made smothered pork chops for dinner that night. Here's what I remember of the recipe. (Quantities are inexact. I sort of made this up on the fly using whatever I had in the kitchen.)

• Dust four thick chops liberally with a not-so carefully measured mixture of the following: salt, black pepper, white pepper, cayenne, ground thyme, powdered garlic, dried basil, crushed rosemary... uh maybe some dried Italian seasoning... whatever you got. I mixed all of this together in a bowl, and just kept adding more to the pot as I saw fit throughout the cooking process.



• In a heavy pot or dutch oven, melt one-half stick of butter. Brown the pork chops. Remove and set aside.



• Deglaze the pot with a little white wine. Add more butter and then add (chopped) one onion, one bell pepper, two or three stalks of celery, one or two leeks, and about a clove of garlic. Saute until fully softened... about ten minutes.



• Thicken the vegetables with a couple tablespoons of flour stir for a few minutes then add one whole chopped tomato and then two cups of chicken or vegetable broth (I happened to have vegetable broth on hand when I did this). Stir.



• Return the pork chops to the pot. Season the whole thing again with the original mix. Squeeze in juice of 1/2 of a lemon and cover. I decided to finish mine in the oven at 375 degrees for 20 minutes but I'm sure you could just as well let this simmer on the stove until done.

It serves best over rice. Enjoy your swine. Oh and cover your mouth when you cough.