Monday, September 17, 2007

Drinking is bad for you... and other observations about the Saints

The post directly below this one makes plain my plans heading into Saturday night. As usual, these plans involved heading out into the Quarter and massively poisoning myself with alcohol. It's the one thing I excel at. And Saturday, I was in the mood for excellence. I should say that excellence was indeed achieved over several pitchers of Miller Lite at Fahy's and then additional untold quantities of... something... at the Boondock Saint. I think there was Chartreuse involved. I have a dreamy recollection of encountering some minorly famous individuals along the way, although I have a hard time with reality... particularly when there may have been Chartreuse involved... so who knows, really.

The staggering (literally) amount of excellence attained Saturday night led, predictably, to one of the most spectacularly stupefying hangovers of our time on Sunday. Usually a hangover entails a few morning hours of discomfort coupled with partial blindness and the obligatory self-loathing. But yesterday was something special, a hangover only the professionals like myself are called to endure, featuring twelve hours of dry heaves, an inability to breathe without pain, and the feeling that your brain is being subjected to two additional atmospheres of uninterrupted pressure.

It sounds bad, I know. But as it turned out, I had taken exactly the proper steps to prepare myself to fully experience yesterday's Saints/Bucs game. While most fans simply rose and watched the Saints deliver yet another wretched sickening performance. I was able to feel the game in-the-round, so to speak, to allow my physical being to become one with the spiritual impression of the Saints' performance. Most fans will tell you that yesterday's game only made them want to puke. Few of them actually managed to call forth the wherewithal to do so. But don't feel bad, kids. Not all of us are destined to reach this level of commitment. Remember, I am a professional.

Hazy recollections:
All game photos once again shamelessly stolen from the T-P gallery.
  • What happened to that big play Saints' offense we read so much about in all those glossy magazines? So far the 2007 Saints show only an aptitude for turning the ball over... and maybe picking up a few yards when Deuce gets the ball, but even he fumbled yesterday. The conventional wisdom at this point is that the Saints' receivers are having trouble getting behind the mysterious "cover 2" zone. But cover 2 is a pretty basic defense and hardly an excuse. Prior to the season, Oyster observed that this batch of Saints wideouts doesn't seem capable of adequately "stretching the field" enough to allow the passing offense to work properly. I'm beginning to agree with that. Particularly after watching Devery Henderson, the team's only speed receiver, drop the ball again yesterday. It might be that Brees actually doesn't have as many of the right weapons available to him this year.


    Let's see... where's Joe Horn... Oh shit too late!


  • Brees, by the way, was sacked twice yesterday. (3 times now in 2 games) Last season, Brees was sacked only 8 times though the first 8 games.


  • The Saints' defense started well. In the early going, they seemed determined not to be pushed around as badly as they were against the Colts. But when you get no help at all from your offense, and have to be out on the field for so long in 100 degree temperatures, well it's only a matter of time before you lose that momentum. It could have been worse. Had they taken the field in their awful black pants, the Saints certainly would have worn down even faster.


    Cadillac Williams shows you can wear all white after Labor Day... if you're playing against the Saints


  • Once again, the Saints defense was burned badly for big plays by 35 year old Joey Galloway. On the game's biggest play, Galloway badly burned Jason David on his way to a 69 yard score and a nice photo-op.


    Jason David: The Saints' marquee free agent acquisition this year


  • Mr. Clio is all over Devery Henderson this morning. And for good reason. The Saints are counting on Devery to add a deep threat to their speed-challenged receiving corps. But some days, the guy just doesn't show up. Henderson dropped everything thrown at him yesterday, including a potential touchdown at a time when the Saints sorely needed one.

    It's a tough grab, but the ball was right freaking there!


    But riddle me this. After Devery showed signs of having another episode of loopiness early on, Soupy benched him for the entire second half. And that's fine. He was playing like crap. Meanwhile, however, golden boy Reggie Bush fre flo doed his way to another underwhelming 2.7 yards per carry whilst fumbling twice and killing a third quarter drive by throwing a hissy fit and shoving Cato June to the ground eliciting a 15 yard penalty. After the game, Bush said June "was kneeing me".

    Right now this team has the look of a spoiled child who has never before had to cope with life not handing it everything and Bush is its poster boy. If Soupy is willing to bench Devery for not performing, he certainly should have benched Bush for being an asshole. The "Coach of the Year" shouldn't exercise such a double standard for his babied superstars.


    Reggie Bush: Douchebag


  • Uh oh, the kicker still sucks. A couple of weeks ago, I predicted that "this will cost the Saints a game or two." Last week, the Saints were badly blown out by the Indianapolis Colts in what appeared to be a team loss. But Leo suggested that a large portion of the blame for that should have fallen upon Olindo Mare.
    I think it cost us this (the Colts) game, honestly. We kick off, hold them to a punt (great), we take the ball down the field, sputter out and go for a 52-yard field goal. We make that, we get to kick off and continue to control field position. Instead, the Colts get the short field and bam, TD. Then we get lucky with the defensive TD, but the offense was already out of synch.
    This week, with the score 14-0, Mare again botched an opportunity to put the Saints on the board after their first sustained drive of the game. And then it was all downhill from there. So now that's two games, at least partially, blown due to the fact that the kicker sucks.


  • Time to panic? Nah, not quite. Check it out:

    NFC South
    Carolina 1-1
    Tampa 1-1
    Atlanta 0-2
    Saints 0-2


    It's not even close to freak-out time. Sure, the Saints need to get their act together but the competition hasn't yet run away with anything... and there hasn't even been a single game played in Superdome. This week, the Chartreuse may have slowed us down, but next week there will be 12 dollar bloody marys involved. And that, if nothing else, gives us something to look forward to.


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