So there's this rumor...

That the Saints kicked the tar out of the NY Giants last Sunday but I have a hard time believing that because 1) Since the game was not televised in Baltimore, I was informed of most of the goings on via text message which is a difficult source for me to rely on.. particularly when a large percentage of the texts are coming from r. 2) I had exactly zero bloody marys that day. If we've learned anything in 2006 it is that if I have anything less than two, there is no way to be certain that any actual football has occurred. Sure I can see big fat guys running into each other on TV. But without that spicy tomatoey haze, I can't feel it with any certainty. 3) The box score from this supposed game includes the following item that.. if not a typographical error.. is a ridiculous forfeiture of credibility on the part of the typist.

Rushing
Reggie Bush 20 attempts 126 yards 1 touchdown

Anyone who has watched the Saints this season knows that the spectacular-but-largely-pointless Reggie Bush makes his minor contribution to the offense as a receiver or (more likely) as a decoy. Not only is this box score a fake, it is not even a very believable one.


Was this game faked? Did anyone check the kerning?
The NFL may have perfectly good reasons for faking week 16. Whether these reasons are related to the holiday, or to gambling, or to the evil scheming of Dan Rather is unclear. Rumor has it that the answer to this riddle has been revealed to Bob Woodward by former President Jimmy Carter. The world anxiously awaits the long overdue death of President Carter so that the truth may finally be made public. In the meantime we'll just have to take the results of this week at face value and throw them on the pile as the Saints prepare to face the Panthers in a (sort of) real live (not at all) crucial NFL regular season game on New Year's Eve.

Notes as the regular season reaches its anti-climax:

• TD Tally: Colston 8 Stallworth 5 Yes, I predicted that Colston would outperform Stallworth largely because of Donte's chronic inability to stay on the field. Turns out both players had to fight through injuries this season.... and Colston still smoked him.


Not Donte' hauls in another one.. okay that's believable.

• Drew Brees (with only one arm) has made the difference this year by (in contrast to his predecessor) simply not being an imbecile. He deserves the league's MVP award.. although he likely will not receive that recognition. But in my mind, the heart and soul of this offense is still Deuce McAllister who returned from a major knee injury in 2005 to rush for 1057 yards and 10 TDs (the second highest TD total of his career) with one (sort of) game left to play. All of this was accomplished while gracefully tolerating the presence of and attention given to the spectacular-but-largely-pointless Reggie Bush. Deuce may not be the MVP.. but he deserves some sort of acknowledgment. Maybe we can send him a card or something.


Deuce. Quietly getting the job done. (slogan stolen from Sidney Barthelemey's 1990 reelection campaign.)


• Please please somebody tell me that there is an NFL rule which will prevent the Saints from wearing those hideous black pants in the playoffs. It would make my Christmas complete.

Finally, I admit it. This team just flat out baffles me. Any football team with a defense this devoid of talent should be expected to gut out a maximum of eight wins. But here are the Saints; the number 2 seed in the NFC playoffs and one (pointless) win away from realizing Ashley's ridiculous pre-season prediction. I've said this before but there are so many glaring weaknesses on this squad that these results cannot possibly be duplicated.. or even approximated next season.

Note to Soupy: Win the Superbowl this season or not at all.