Either way, I think we need to get proactive in apprehending looters, instead of just waiting around for them to strike. That’s why, with hurricane season just two weeks old, I want to propose an innovative anti-looting strategy to the law enforcement entities throughout Greater New Orleans. We need plain-clothes officers stationed in waiting rooms, bars, and any other place where there’s a TV in public view. They need to bide their time until, say, Bob Breck comes on to do the weather report. When Breck reminds viewers that 2011 is expected to be a particularly busy hurricane season, these undercover anti-looting teams can scan the audience for anyone who stands up and cheers, “Oh, goody goody! Can’t wait to swipe all the free warm wine coolers after the hurricanes pass through!”
Then we must move swiftly to arrest these pernicious hurricane celebrants for conspiracy to loot, and any other applicable charge, and haul them to the slammer. Make the NOPD “Batmobile” dual-purpose, if need be. Just get these potential menaces off the streets before the storms come, rather than after. It’s a smart move. Zero tolerance for shoddy levees? How quaintly 2006. We have a higher priority: Zero tolerance for looting.
Okay maybe. But since we know the Batmobile can only accommodate a maximum of 5 detained drivers (the number one non-hurricane-related threat to society) maybe rounding up suspects isn't its most efficient application during a city-wide looting event. Instead, consider using its ample carrying capacity to deploy lightweight preventative resources... such as temporary bandit signs like this one, for example,
only with "NO LOOTING, PLEASE" scrawled in colorful lettering.
Meanwhile, as far as the secondary concerns of storm season, like flooding and stuff, it looks like we've got that pretty well covered.
No comments:
Post a Comment