Messy

Let it be noted that we had every intention of delivering last week's football post on time. But then, even when that didn't happen, we were sure we were going to do it Friday morning which would be better than we've done most of this season.

But then on Thursday night Menckles bought us some nice wine and then things went downhill and then all of Friday turned into this.



And so here I am with just a few hours to throw something together before running down to Acme for more liquor. In which case, I'm not even going to waste time with the regular opening joke or rambling tangent. Instead, maybe just enjoy the Gregg Williams animated GIF provided by Varg for the general benefit of mankind.



Saints vs Bengals: (Stolen photos from TP NOLA.com gallery. Animated GIF rudely hot-linked to Varg's site unless that becomes a problem)

• Pants Factor: What the hell is going on here? This is, what 6? 20? wins in a row in the black pants? Okay okay you've made your freaking point, guys. But seriously, can we ditch the pants anyway? They don't look any less stupid.
  
  
  BTW, Black pants WITH fanny pack? Worst decision ever.
  
  Also, props to Sean Payton for going with the hoodie this week. In football fashion parlance, the hoodie is sort of an anti-windbreaker in that it's how we identify the coaches who aren't complete morons.



• Good Ironbutt Chris Ivory was a beast Sunday (15 carries 117 yards 2 touchdowns) Ivory's 636 yards leads the Saints and all NFL rookies in rushing this season. Ivory is one of a handful of undrafted free agent running backs currently leading their teams including overall leader Arian Foster of Houston. The Saints expect to make the roster stronger by adding another undrafted running back to the mix this week. All of which begs the question, what exactly is the NFL draft for in the first place? Actually let's save that one for later.
  
  
  Undrafted NFL running backs are giving the phrase Who Dat (or even Who Dey) a new shade of meaning lately



• Bad Ironbutt: It had been a while, but the dude did fumble again. Maybe we should have given the ball to a guy with an actual resume.



• Clint Stitser: Is the amusing name of the Bengals' place kicker. More on that in a moment.



• Punter's duel: Much of the first half of this one was dominated by the punters. During the first quarter, (with a strong wind at his back) Cincy's Kevin Huber hit a 55 yarder to place the Saints on their 10, and a 58 yarder to the 5. On the first occasion, the Saint's offense was able to dig out of the hole and finish up with a field goal but on the second they couldn't get out of the shadow of their own goal line which was when Thomas Morstead did all he could to bail the Saints out by hitting a 53 yard punt into the wind all the way to the Cincinnati 36. The Bengals drove from there for a field goal but we still think Morstead has more than earned your Pro Bowl vote.
  
  CLICK HERE TO VOTE THOMAS MORSTEAD ONTO THE NFC PRO-BOWL ROSTER



• Nobody can cover the tight end: The Saints have had tremendous difficulty finding their opponents' tight end all season long. Bengals Tight End Jermaine Gresham was only the latest troublemaker in this regard. Gresham caught 4 passes for 43 yards including a 23 yard reception on a fourth and one and managed to make a Scott Shanle attempt at tackling look pretty pitiful.
  
  On the other hand, the Bengals couldn't cover the tight end either. Jimmy Graham's 52 yard reception near the end of the half put Drew Brees past Archie Manning at the top of the Saints' all-time leaders in passing yardage. It was probably Graham's best moment all year since the first time he differentiated himself from Jeremey Shockey by catching a pass and not falling directly to the ground.
  
  
  Jimmy Graham not dropping a football



• There was a goal line stand during the first half which caused some excitement on the sidelines: See animated GIF at the top of this post.



• Messy, although not in the way Ochocinco told us it would be This was a sloppy game for a number of reasons, the Saints' line play being chief among them. Brees was sacked twice but was also frequently smooshed in the act of throwing the ball. Five of the Saints' embarrassing 11 penalties came from offensive linemen either holding or jumping offside. After all the talk about the weather this week, who would have thought that the O-Line play would have been the most negatively affected? I mean, isn't that why they have a protective layer of blubber in the first place?
  
  
  Jahri Evans (right) leads all NFL linemen in holding penalties this season



• Uh Oh the kicker sucks: Garrett Hartley once again had Saints fans pulling their hair out this week. For reasons not entirely clear to most of us, Hartley has taken over the kickoff duties from Morstead for most of this season and performed abysmally in that role. Hartley's momentum-kiliing out-of-bounds kick after the Saints had just gone up 20-6 to start the second half could not have come at a worse time. It signaled to Saints fans that they weren't going to be putting this team away. Brees' interception on the ensuing possession made matters worse, but the downhill slide began with Hartley as such things often seem to do. Hartley went on to have further difficulties with his kickoffs as the game descended into much unnecessary nail-biting. Also let us take a moment to remember why the Saints are still looking up at the Falcons in the standings right now.
  
  
  Garrett Hartley is fat punk
  
  On the other hand, the amusingly named Clint Stitser also shanked an extra point that could have made a difference in what became a close game. Also, for some unknown reason, the Bengals had Stitser squib a number of his kickoffs to the Saints' up men. Courtney Roby is a pretty good return man, but why go to such elaborate lengths to avoid him? Or maybe Stitser just can't actually kickoff at all, it's hard to tell. All of which goes to show, if this is indeed the Golden Age of Punting, it must also be said that NFL placekicking is in its Dark Age.



• Did Jabari Greer even have to do anything? As the game wound down, it looked as though the Bengals were throwing at Tracy Porter on almost every play. Porter got beat a few times but did okay for the most part. But still, one wonders what they were trying to do there.



• Meach is back around Robert Meachem (and the Saints' big play passing game) has been on a tear lately. Does anybody come up bigger at bigger moments than he does? The most satisfying moment of the game of the game occurred during the fourth quarter when the Saints took possession of the ball with time becoming short and their lead down to one. Rather than panic and come out in a five-wide shotgun, the Saints executed this sequence.
  
  1st and 10 Safe pass to Julius Jones for 6
  
  2nd and 4 Ivory up the middle for 11
  
  1st and 10 Meachem deep for 52.
  
  The Saints would need to come back one more time before the game ended but here was the evidence that they weren't going to freak out let the thing get away from them. In fact, on the very next possession, when the circumstances were even more dire, the Saints, trailing by a point now, ran this play sequence.
  
  1st and 10 Ivory left for 8
  
  2nd and 2 Ivory right for 3
  
  1st and 10 Deep ball to Meachem for 42.
  
  Even when trailing late, there was no need to panic. The Saints hit a couple plays up the gut before looking for their big play guy once they had properly set him up.
  
  
  Robert Meachem making another big play
  



• Brain Freeze: This game really did come down to who would do the stupidest thing at the worst time. For a while we thought that would be the Saints who granted the Bengals a first down and subsequent game tying score by virtue of an idiotic 12 men on the field penalty. And yet, somehow, in defiance of all probability, the Bengals managed to out-stupid even that.

  Facing fourth-and-2 at the Cincinnati 7 with 34 seconds left and trailing by 3 on Sunday, the Saints called timeout, then huddled up and went through an elaborate 20 seconds of play-acting as Brees looked agitated in the backfield, shouting out orders and formations and then settling under center to bark out the signals.
  
  It seemed obvious that the Saints would consider not snapping the ball; sure enough, the play was called “No-Brainer Freeze,” and it is designed merely to see if there is anyone unaware enough to jump offside and give New Orleans a first down.
  
  On Sunday, there was.
  
  Defensive lineman Pat Sims bought Brees’s act and jumped. Instead of taking a delay-of-game penalty and running out their kicker to send the game into overtime, the Saints were presented with a first down. Brees threw a 3-yard touchdown pass to Marques Colston on the next play, and the Saints won, 34-30.
  
  “What is that guy doing?” Saints defensive lineman Sedrick Ellis said. “You have to be smarter than that.”

  
  
  Point of emphasis: It is insufficient to state that Sims's boo boo was merely the difference between a Saints win and overtime. It was, in fact, the difference between a game-winning touchdown pass to Marques Colston and the extremely dicey proposition of leaning on Garrett Hartley's chances of making a 27 yard field goal with the game on the line. Nobody wanted to see that. And thanks to Sims nobody had to.
  
  In fact, in light of the magnitude of Sims's goof, I wonder if it isn't time to revise that Top 10 Historic Plays list we compiled last week. Jeff Duncan seems to think maybe.
  
  
  There is just no way that worked. Really?



• Finish: And even after all that, there were a few more anxious moments. Having benefited from a 47 yard kickoff return (thank you again Mr. Hartley for not reaching the end zone) the Bengals were in position to try a not too unreasonable Hail Mary from the Saints' 37 with seconds left to play. Gregg Williams's decision to blitz in that situation was an inspired move. The resulting sack to end the game neatly matched the one that ended the first half and, in turn, allows us to end this post on the appropriate note.