Chestnuts glowing on an open screen

Just in time for holiday travel.

Over the next few days, the federal Transportation Safety Administration will start using four whole-body imaging machines at security checkpoints at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport.

The new scanning equipment, which has already been deployed in 59 airports around the U.S., has created a mild stir because of concerns about invasion of privacy.

While a TSA official informed them about the federal government's plans to roll out the technology in New Orleans, aviation board members were greeted Thursday with a poster board display showing ghost-like, but revealing black-and-white images of a man, his face blurred but his genitals clearly defined.

I distinctly remember reading about a widely celebrated survey which suggested that the genitals of New Orleanians were quite well-defined already without the aid of high tech image enhancement, thank you very much. Of course, one could argue that these images are needed for the purposes of verifying the survey... or conducting new surveys of a similar nature. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination and, frankly, TSA won't be using much of that anymore anyway.

Naturally, the typical set of privacy advocates are putting out the typical range of concerns for the right to privacy of their privates. TSA assures us they've got that covered... for lack of a better word.

But TSA regional director Ray White, who oversees airport security in Louisiana, Oklahoma and Texas, assured the aviation board that several steps are being taken to protect privacy and ensure images of bodies are not retained.

He said only one TSA employee will be able to see the images, in a separate room where they will have no contact with any travelers. He also said the images will be erased immediately after the screener determines that there is no threat, and only written data will be retained.

One guy alone in a dark room will look at the nekkid pictures, spend a few minutes assessing their level of threat, and then immediately erase them from his hard drive. No American will have any real trouble understanding this procedure. This is how porn works in any number of households across the country. But if that makes anyone uncomfortable they can always opt for the less invasive full body pat-down alternative.

In addition, all travelers will have the option to decline a full-body image scan. They will be able to opt out and be screened using traditional metal-detectors, White said, but they will be subject to pat-downs and other secondary screenings that they should be able to avoid if they go through the body imaging.

Can't see anything going wrong with that policy at all.