Apologies once more

Having just arrived at home after safely conducting my vehicle along the route between the bar and my residence, I just have to let everyone know that even I, being one who is quite aware of and ashamed of and penitent about his many many transgressions against good sense and his fellow persons in general and specific persons in particular, even I would not be so remorseful as to turn myself in to the police for driving drunk. Is there a law against blogging drunk because by God there ought to be (whoah how do I punctuate that sentence?)